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Simple Womans Daybook

2012-02-17T14:44:00.000-05:00

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... It is Night time. The sky is dark and only a handful of visible stars. There is still snow on the ground and I am hoping it goes away soon.

I am thinking...about how wonderful these last couple of days were. We went to The Great (big~ my joey adds this) Wolf Lodge for 2 days and 1 night. We had SO much FUN! Miguel and I didn't get to spend as much time together because we were taking turns with the kids. Abby would want to go on the really really big water slides and Ellie wanted to stay on the little tiny baby ones, Joey wanted to go on the medium ones. We managed to keep everyone happy.

I am thankful... for my husband. He really is a remarkable. He does whatever he can to meet all of our needs. He makes breakfast on his days off (usually Abby helps), He cleans up the kitchen for me daily, He makes coffee in the morning for me before he leaves for work. After work he comes home and watches the kids so I can go to the gym for 1 to 2 hours. He helps put the kids to bed. He helps with laundry and on and on. He is a gap filler and I am thankful for that.

In the kitchen... All the dishes are loaded. Counter tops are clean. (thanks Hubs)

I am wearing...Christmas pajama pants with peppermints and words on them. purple and black plaid flannel over a 3/4 sleeve black shirt. (i was cold)

I am creating... A special blog for my daughter Abby. She will be 8 years old this Sunday. This blog is going to filled with notes from loved ones and from me. Special clip art and quotes to encourage her.

I am going... to target, tj max and a few other places. Most of my jeans are a bit big for me and I want to try on some jeans to see what size I am now :)

I am hoping... that the winter snow will melt all the way and not return. I am longing for sunshine and warmth.

I am learning...what loving like Christ really means, and it is no easy task but something I long for dearly.

Around the house...I need to finish unpacking from our trip to the Great Wolf Lodge. We had such a great time!

A favorite quote for today... " The Savior walked through life in the service of others, because when He was helping others, He was glorifying, honoring and obeying the Father in Heaven that we share. It is all so simple…. LOVE others. REALLY LOVE them, do not expect anything in return, do not put conditions or rules on the love that you give…love because it is the right thing to do…love because Heavenly Father and the Savior need to bless others through you and through me…LOVE because that’s what you want most, and naturally, that’s what others want most. LOVE. Love yourself and love others, everything else good and right and true will come out of that loving…out of that action and discipline and intention to love. Just love…" ~Melody Ross
Read her blog post here on what is Love and how it saved my marriage Click Here

One of my favorite things... Scarves. I just love them. all of them.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I need to rest my knees and ankle. They hurt so bad from doing so much lower body work outs. My ankle I almost rolled twice, so I need to be careful with that.

A peek into my day... My sister Sherry, bought these bracelets for me and I just love them. It has my word for 2012, STRONG. and on the inside of the bracelet it says Love Sherry. I wear these always!

If you would like to partake on this fun daybook, click here :)

Dear Blog

2012-02-06T14:28:00.001-05:00

I apologize for neglecting you. I have sat down many times to write about the things that lie deep within my heart, but I can't seem to form a sentence that translates what has been taking place inside of me. There has been so much going on around me, people that I love dearly that are torn and broken. I have been busy trying to reach goals that I have set for myself.... Trying to become STRONG in so many area's. I find at times it is exhausting and overwhelming which sometimes leaves me feeling like a failure. I am excited for my life as a Wife, a Mom and a Christian... but trying to obtain balance is hard. Trying to apply what you learn to everyday life is not the easiest thing to do. I have been searching for HEALTHY recipes to try and cook, learning about nutrition, calories, grams of fat and sodium, sugar blah blah blah... (and that's just one area) Then there is working out, this I actually enjoy, I find it as a stress breaker. Working out has made me feel good, but its the food I crave afterwards that wears me down LOL I feel like I'm watching what I eat so I don't kick all the calories I worked hard burning, right out the window. I have been studying the Bible and I am learning sooo much. I have so many questions. Deep questions, questions that probably don't have answers. I take what I learn and I want to remember it, all of it. I want to engrave God's Word upon my heart. But it seems as soon as I step away from my devotion I struggle with applying so much of what I learn. My biggest down fall I would say is patience, or lack of patience. These are just a few of the things.
.......... Right now I am struggling with relationships that have ended. It is whats best. But it is heart breaking. It is almost like mourning a death. But it is out of my hands. :sigh: When I feel this way I wish I could just surround myself with my family. My Sisters, Sherry and Deborah. My Brother, Ondray and even my parents (if you knew my relationship with my parents you would understand why I said "and even")hahaha I long for this. I really really do. To be around my nieces and nephew, to eat familiar foods, to laugh at my Father's dry sense of humor, to tease my mom about her broken English, to sit and have deep meaningful conversations with my Big sister while drinking coffee, to surround my brother as a family and pray for him, to be childish and goofy with my little sister Deborah and steal some of her clothes. Yes, I long for my family. So you see even though I am so excited about learning so many new things, in spite of working out and losing weight (yes, this one is huge for me) in spite of my wonderful devotions and all that I am learning ,in spite of ALL the joys that come with that there is this other half that is heavy, that is hurting, that is sad. Not just for me but for others too. Thankfully I have a God that is in control. I can go to Him, cry to Him and I know He hears me. I know He cares. And even when my words fail me (which I am struggling as I type) He knows my heart. I am so incredibly thankful for that.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2012-01-16T12:08:00.001-05:00

FOR TODAY

Outside my window... The ground is cover in white snow, the sun is hitting it causing a beautiful diamond effect. The branches are weighed down with snow, yet they never give in to the weight. They continue to hold on, being so strong.

I am thinking... About the verses I read this morning in Ephesians.

I am thankful... That I have a Heavenly Father that wants to give me all the blessings of Heaven. He loves me, He is with me.

In the kitchen... My coffee is still waiting for me to come get a cup.

I am wearing... My Orange Aero Sweat pants and a black Champion hoodie

I am creating... A blog specifically for my Bible Studies. I was going to write them all out in a note book, but I hate my handwriting.

I am going... To workout tonight. 3-2-1 is probably one of the most difficult workouts (for me) I will get stronger.

I am hoping... That my brother's situation will get better. That truth will come to light. and that he will be set "free"

I am learning... New things everyday. From God's Word. From my Husband. From my Kids.

Around the house... I need to vacuum. We had friends over on friday night and then a party for my nephew on saturday, so today I need to go through and vacuum.

A favorite quote for today... Another example of my word for 2012: Strong:

One of my favorite things... Creme Brulee Creamer.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I don't have a lot planned. A lot of strength training, cardio and core workouts are in my future this week, other than that I just want to relax.

A peek into my day... Monkey see, Monkey do! :) My little Ellie doing stretches.

If you would like to partake on this fun daybook, click here :)

Diary of 5

2012-01-11T21:06:00.002-05:00

This is something I will be doing once a week. It is similar to the Simple Woman's Daybook, which I really enjoy. This is what you do: Create a new post with the title, diary of 5 and simply fill in your answers with what you are seeing, hearing, tasting, smelling and feeling...these may be written in past or present tense depending on the time of day you wish to blog about them.

If you would like to partake in this as well click here be sure to leave your blog link so others can check out your blog and follow you in your Diary 5!

I am seeing.... A busy week ahead of me. Homeschooling, Party Planning, Dinner guests coming over, Ice Skating, cleaning and working out.

I am hearing.... the kettleworx dvd playing, my brother and husband are working out. I would do it with them except I just finished my own killer workout.

I am smelling... coffee.... I am waiting to get a cup. I also made sugar cookies with the kids earlier and they turned out yummy. I will be having one of those as well :)

I am tasting... the left over taste of strawberry milk. I hate milk but there are so many benefits to drinking milk, especially when you workout. If you drink 24oz of fat free or Skim milk it can help you lose belly fat. Check out this link here.

I am feeling... sore, exhausted, yet strong and accomplished. I am loving my killer workouts, they give me a sense of gratification.

Simple Woman's Daybook

2012-01-09T21:09:00.002-05:00

FOR TODAY

Outside my window...the moon is shining. It's dark as can be and I know that at this time many are putting their little ones to bed. The air is incredibly bitter and cold, making me even more thankful for a roof over my head and warm clothes on my body.

I am thinking...about the workout I just finished. I don't know how many calories I burned and that bothers me. I did a 45 min 3-2-1 workout and then 45 min yoga class.

I am thankful...for opportunity. Everyday we are presented with opportunity and depending on how we handle that opportunity, we can have a good day or a bad day.

In the kitchen...my big brother is microwaving something, I think it is a left over chicken sandwich that I made.

I am wearing...black workout sweat, a black workout shirt and sweatshirt, with a gray infinity scarf. (my favorite one)

I am creating... a STRONG body and mind.

I am going...to start an Ephesians Bible study with a wonderful group of ladies via IRL. and I can't wait to learn from them and hear about what they are getting out of God's Word.

I am reading... Ted Dekker's Infidel

I am hoping...that I will be seeing more progress with my workouts.

I am looking forward to... Zumba tomorrow night. I may do my kettleworx resistance dvd.

I am learning...that it is hard to love but even harder to love those you despise.

Around the house... It is quiet. The kids are sleeping soundly in bed. My tv is playing, adding to the white noise. My brother is talking to our Uncle on the phone about his plans for Easter.

A favorite quote for today...

One of my favorite things... unexpected I love you's from my children

A few plans for the rest of the week: Tues~zumba/kettleworx Wed~ butts and guts Thur~ Zumba/Ab lab Fri~run Sat~ party for my nephew Logan Sun~Church/afterwards Ice Skating with all of my kids and my brother with all of his.

A peek into my day...

me and my big brother and the end of the day. Torn up from the floor up :)

If you want to join in on the fun and do the Simple Woman's Day book, Click Here

Diary of 5

2012-01-04T14:40:00.000-05:00

If you would like to partake in this as well click here be sure to leave your blog link so others can check out your blog and follow you in your Diary 5!

I am seeing.... Pain in my future, not a bad pain but a good pain. I plan on doing the Butts and Guts workout with my husband tonight. That guarantee's me pain for the next couple of days.

I am hearing.... my 2 of my kids playing in the shower and the silent echo's of my youngest sleeping. I am trying to wean her from her pacifier and it has been 2 long hours of screaming and crying. Finally I went and snuggled her until she fell asleep.

I am smelling... the aroma of lunch. I made green chile, cheese, chicken sandwiches for lunch. I bought Burgers by Amylu ~Sweet Caramelized Onion Chicken Burgers (Costco)

Nutrition summary:

Calories

140

Fat

6.5g

Carbs

Protein

22g

There are 140 calories in 1 serving of Burgers by Amylu Sweet Caramelized Onion Chicken Burgers (Costco).

Calorie breakdown: 37% fat, 8% carbs, 55% protein.

I am tasting... the fresh clean taste of bottled water.I have cut soda nearly out of my diet. Coffee and water have been my two choice of drinks as of lately.

I am feeling...that so often we miss out on so many amazing things simply because we can not be content with what we have, or who we have in our life.

Word for 2012

2012-01-01T18:56:00.001-05:00

In my previous post I stated that my word for 2011 was DISCOVER. This year I wanted to choose a word that would challenge me, define me, encourage me and motivate me in all things. This word is more than JUST a word to me, it is something that I strive to be, something I see in others and admire them for being. It's not a complex word and it's not a word that is typically read as "deep." It's plain and simple yet not always easy to obtain. My word for 2012 is STRONG The definition of this word is

1. having, showing, or able to exert great bodily or muscular power; physically vigorous or robust

accompanied or delivered by great physical, mechanical,etc., power or force

mentally powerful or vigorous

especially able, competent, or powerful in a specific field or respect

of great moral power, firmness, or courage

I find this word to be strong in itself. It can be negative or positive. It can build or destroy. It can be a weakness or a strength. My goal is to be balanced and attempt to be strong or stronger Physically, Mentally, Spiritually and even Emotionally. There are some character traits that may be viewed as weak, such as meekness, submissive, quiet, humble and sometimes kindness. But for some (me included), these traits require a lot of strength. It doesn't come natural for me to be meek and especially submissive. These are area's that I want to be stronger. Kindness is easy for me, but what about towards my enemies? What about towards those people I feel don't deserve my kindness? I have been told that I am an open book. If I don't tell you how I am feeling, you will be able to read it on my face. This is where meekness comes into play. I need to be "slow to anger" like my little nephew, Luc says. I need to be long suffering. This is no easy task. But I want to be stronger in this area of my life.

Another area is physically . My journey to lose weight has transformed my way of thinking. I don't want to just be a skinny girl. I want to be a strong, fit woman. From the way I eat to my daily activities. I want to push myself to run further, to be able to do more push ups, to have abs that are rippling and legs that are aching. I want to be an athlete, I want to teach my kids to be strong, to be fit, to be healthy. I want to run a 5k, 10k and who knows maybe even a 26k. I don't have to win I just have to finish. I want to push myself, to have goals. That brings me to mentally stronger. There are many reasons why I have not done certain things in my life, but the main reason is FEAR. I have a fear of failing. I have a fear of disappointment. So instead of saying "well at least I tried" I would rather not try than face failure. But the problem with thinking that way is you limit yourself, you fail because you gave into your fear.You put yourself in a box and never expand your wings, causing yourself to miss out on some amazing adventures. It takes confidence to face your fears, and it takes strength to have confidence. I can honestly say that because I KNOW I can run 5 miles, it has boosted my confidence in other area's of my life. Cooking, baking (yes those are two different things) and house keeping to name a few. I take my job as being wife and mom seriously,and how can I teach my children to be confident in all they do if I give into my own fears? I want to be strong for them. I want to learn to be better for them. They deserve it and I will enjoy it as well.

That brings me to my final category, Spiritually. I want to have a STRONG relationship with my Heavenly Father. More than ever before in my life I want to dig into His Word, soak it in and live it. This takes the most amount of strength of all. Because when you live an authentic Christian life you are 100% selfless. That doesn't me neglect yourself , but it means submitting to the Holy Spirit. It means sacrificing yourself to be a blessing to someone else, it means loving even if you know you are going to be hurt. Again not an easy thing to do. I want to develop a strong relationship with my God in 2012. I will be doing a online Bible study with my Sister Sherry, on the book of Ephesians. I am so looking forward to this. I just finished one on the book of 1 John and I have been convicted so much. I have learned so much. Now to apply it to my life. You see, I don't just want to say I'm a Christian. I want to say I am a daughter of the King of Heaven. I want to say that I KNOW my God. He talks with me and walks with where ever I go. I desire that more than anything else and really this is where my journey begins. With Him. If I become stronger in any area of my life it is because He gives me the strength to grow. He gives me the wisdom I need and the control I need for every situation that I may come across this year. So whatever tasks you may take on this year, whatever area's in your life you want to be strong in I would suggest starting right here, with God. Because He is the ultimate source of STRENGTH!

Discover

2011-12-29T14:17:00.001-05:00

As the New Year approaches I try and reflect on this past year, 2011. About this time last year I chose a word to think about through out 2011 that would help challenge me and make me better as a Wife, Mom, Sister, Daughter, Christian, and Friend. The word I chose was DISCOVER , and boy can I say that this past year has been FULL of discoveries. If you would like to travel back in time and read some of the posts from January of 2011 Click HERE.
You know how sometimes you go shopping for clothes for your kids, and then within a few months they no longer fit because they had a major growth spurt? Well this year was my growth spurt. It's been a whirl wind. It all began with my decision to mend my family, to reconcile things with my husband. I have to say it was the best decision I have ever made. Our relationship with each other and with our kids is so much stronger. We have our rough days but those are so far and few in between. Going from there we needed to find a church that we felt would help us as a family to grow, grow in love and in Christ. A friend via IRL came across one of my blog posts about church hunting and suggested a church in Middleville. She had no idea where we lived but said she just thought to tell me for whatever reason. It just so happened that the church wasn't far away at all. About 15 minutes. It took a couple of Sundays to feel at home there, but I have to say that the balance of music and preaching, the kindness of the people there, the great nursery's available, we ended up loving the church. A big plus was our Sunday School class. Miguel and I have been learning so much in there, it's been a great blessing. Another area of Discovery would be my kids. I use to be the mom that would shew her kids away when they wanted to do a craft or activity. Every once in a while we would do something but I just wasn't that mom that enjoyed doing kid stuff. This was something I wanted to change, So we started doing crafts and science experiments. We bake and make cookies, we color and paint. I am constantly looking for fun things to do with my three kids. I am building memories with them. I am winning their heart and investing in them. We don't do this every single night but every couple of weeks. Here are some fun shots of the things we've done.

Gak

cupcakes

Final result of the Gak

Another are that I have DISCOVERED was where my heart truly stands when it comes to God and my relationship. I did a 1 John Bible study and I loved it. I didn't realize how hungry my soul was for a genuine relationship with my Heavenly Father. I am still in the process of discovering God, but what I already know of Him is so sweet and so dear to me. I want to be a authentic Christian.

This past year I have DISCOVERED what it is like to be a active and fit person. I have ran 5 miles I have lost over 8 lbs and I am starting to fit back into some of my old jeans. I am DISCOVERING what it means to eat healthy, to drink water. I have practically cut all soda out of my diet, and not only am I making these changes but I am loving them. I am beginning to love working out, to feel that body ache afterwards. I have such a sense of gratification and satisfaction knowing that I am doing something that most people don't even attempt. Mostly because I thought I couldn't do it. I would never become one of those people that cared about portion size, calorie counting, exercising and working out but I AM!!! I think it's also boosted my confidence in other areas. I like to try and keep up with house work, and cooking new things. I am spreading my wings and enjoying the scenery below. If you would like to follow my Workout Blog Click Here! Stay tuned to see what my new word for 2012 will be :) love you all.

Christmas this year

2011-12-16T13:23:00.002-05:00

This is a picture I took last year in Lowell MI

I haven't been blogging lately and I think it's because I have been some what worn out. Not so much physically, although the flu made a grand appearance in my home knocking each one of us down one right after the other. Then on last Friday I got all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. Not to bad, no bruising or swelling. Some pain but nothing horrible. Then I was next in line for the flu. So I didn't think that anyone would want to read about all my exciting moments of cleaning up projectile vomit, or all night diarrhea. Nothing fun or exciting. We are getting better and that is refreshing. I'm thankful that the snow has not stuck. It is already melted and gone. So far a very mild winter in Michigan. (that makes me happy) This year my husbands parents and brother's family will be joining us for Christmas. I am so thrilled about that because my MIL cooks the best South Western (New Mexico Style) food. Plus the kids will be occupied and that means my husband and I can have some alone time. I am hoping that my SIL, Lori and I will be able to do some fun crafts. She is very artistic and creative. She has her own store on etsy called sky peach!
Plans ahead are to make This for my little nephew Jack. I need to wrap presents and send them off to far away family (waving hi Sherry) and then do some prep work for having company stay the night. I have to do a few more gift purchasing for my kids. Other than that I should be good.
The other thing I am excited about is having my brother Ondray and his kids over for Christmas Eve. I love that my family and Miguel's family will be here under my roof. It's gonna be loud, it's gonna be fun and there will be so much love. I'm excited to see everyone open their gifts. I hope we will get a chance to pull out the guitar and sing some songs. Read the birth of Jesus and the night before Christmas. I want hot chocolate and coffee, home made candy and popcorn. Christmas classics and lots of laughter. This is my hope for Christmas this year.

Simple Women's Daybook

2011-12-05T13:17:00.001-05:00

Outside my window..."Baby it's cold outside, Oh baby you'll freeze out there," So there isn't any snow but it sure is pretty cold. The leaves are long gone, wilted and brown, they lay on the moist, soggy ground.

I am thinking... That I had a great weekend at my SIL's house in Indiana. I got to spend time with her and my little nephew. We went to see the Marshall Fields Christmas Window Displays, we went to the Christmas German Market in Chicago and saw the Christmas lights.

I am thankful...That I am still losing weight. Soon I will be joining a gym at my husbands work place. Here is the schedule :

I'll be doing the 3-2-1 class on mon, Dance fit on tues., Butts and Guts on wed., Zumba on thur., and running on fri-sun at home.

From the Reading room... I am reading The Lost Series by Ted Dekker. I just finished the first book Chosen

In the kitchen...I just finished making lunch. I made Ground Turkey with bow tie pasta in Spaghetti sauce. Yum!

I am wearing.. My Black Champion hoodie and a pair of grey sweats with a black stipe down the side.\

I am wondering... When I will get Christmas presents made, wrapped and shipped out.

I am craving... Water. just Water. I didn't drink any over the weekend and now I am dehydrated. No Bueno.

I am hoping... That I will enjoy the workout schedule posted above. I really think it can be fun but somewhat intimidating. There is something about working out in the comfort of your own home where you can do things at your own pace. hhmm..

I am looking forward to... Christmas! My kids are all old enough to understand and enjoy the Christmas holiday. I look forward to seeing their excited little faces being lit up on Christmas morning!

Picture for thought... This Saturday we went to Chicago and saw the lights and Marshall Field's Window display! Ellie was thrilled every time she saw Christmas tree's or lights!

Happy Birthday to my Ellie Girl

2011-11-17T11:39:00.001-05:00

Ellie Bear Just born. 8 lbs 3 oz. 21 inches long. Her white blood count was through the roof and she was admitted to NICU for 7 full days. Thankfully all was okay and we got to take her home, healthy and happy.

2 months old. She has such big eyes and so much hair. My others were bald :)

At 8 months old we were starting a new life in Michigan. Chaos surrounded us but she had no clue. She brought so much joy and love when things were hard.

Here is her 1 year Birthday! We were living with my Brother and his family. His daughter is one day younger than Ellie, so we celebrated their birthdays together!

Here she is TWO years old. My 7 year old made the sign for her. She want it to be the first thing Ellie saw when she woke up. Ellie was so excited to see that it was made just for her. She is still learning how to hold up the number 2.

Ellie is my most rambunctious little child. She is feisty and tough. She loves to tease her big sister and brother. But she is always concerned if someone is sad or hurt. She is very affectionate and loves to cuddle. Her favorite things are : music, dancing, singing, coloring, jumping on the mini trampoline, and being read to. She loves looking at books, often I will find her sitting in a corner with a pile of books just looking at the pictures and touching the pages.

Ellie loves food. Her favorite are vegetables and almost anything with cheese. Just like any kid, she loves candy. Her favorite drink is chocolate milk.

Ellie loves the color yellow. It's the first color she picks out and knows its name. Ellie's favorite cd is the Fisher Price

She knows almost every single song on here and just loves to sing and dance to it.

Ellie's full name is Elliana Faith. She even has a korean name Ha-Eun (ha-oon) Which means God's Grace. If you want to read her birth story you can go to Ellie's Birth Story.

Happy Birthday my Sweet little girl. I am so thankful for you in every way.

The Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-11-14T11:27:00.001-05:00

Outside my window...The weather is gloom. Fall is falling away as winter is trying to make it's grand appearance. The leaves no longer look beautiful as they are scattered all on the ground. I am not looking forward to the winter. Yes, the snow is beautiful and can be fun to play in the first time around but after that I am done with it. However MI is known for having a very long winter season. :sigh:

I am thinking... Love. Love.Love. How do you love someone you just do not like? How? What if that person is a relative?

I am thankful...For losing just a little bit more weight. For the longest I have been stuck at 139 lbs. And the last two days I have been at 138 lbs. ! Hopefully it will continue to drop.

From the Reading room... I am still reading Ted Dekker's book, The Priest's Graveyard. I am also doing a online Bible study of 1 John.

In the kitchen...New things have been created. I am determined to try new recipes. I fail in the area of baking all the time so this past week I tried a recipe for cupcakes. But it was just for two people. I doubled the batch so there were enough for my 3 kids and myself. The first time didn't work out so well, but the second time was so much better!Here is the link to the recipe

I am wearing.. Brown exercise and a brown fleece jacket.

I am creating... A new goal. Two days in a row I have ran 4 miles. It has taken me 59 minutes both times but I am excited about that! Because I know I can run this distance without dying I think I want to run a 5k which is 3.1 miles. So I have until this spring to get into shape in hopes of NOT coming in last place hahaha

I am wondering... When will our first snow come and stay? The weather in MI is so crazy. It will be beautiful outside and then next day we can have a hail storm.

I am craving... Carbs. Whenever I get close to that time of the month, my body craves sweets and carbs. Have I mentioned that I have a weakness for Pasta and Breads???

I am hoping...That Abby will be able to catch up in her work with school. I really don't want it to last all through the summer.

I am looking forward to... To this Saturday. My brother's kids will be coming over. We plan on having a family party to celebrate our daughters birthdays. They both will be 2 years old and are only one day apart. This is something special to me because I know that eventually we will be moving back to New Mexico and we won't be able to celebrate their birthdays together after that.

My Ellie is on the left and Annie is on the right. This was for their first birthday last year.

I am hearing.. Celine Dion playing in Ellie's room. She is down for a nap and I have the cd going to help with all the other noises in the house to not be heard.

Around the house... I am really wanting to paint the walls. I always want to try and get our fire place going!

One of my favorite things.. Quietness. I love when the house is just quiet. The kids don't have to be asleep, they can be playing but what I mean is no yelling, no fighting, no crying, no whining, no nagging. Just Quietness. Quietness of the spirit. Peace. This is one of my favorite things.

A few plans for the rest of the week: The party this saturday and then friday we are having friends over for dinner :) still don't know what to cook.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. These are my kids last year at this time. My how they have grown.

Exodus

2011-11-09T13:25:00.000-05:00

Exodus 14

¹⁰ As Pharaoh approached, the people of Israel looked up and panicked when they saw the Egyptians overtaking them. They cried out to the Lord, ¹¹ and they said to Moses, “Why did you bring us out here to die in the wilderness? Weren’t there enough graves for us in Egypt? What have you done to us? Why did you make us leave Egypt? ¹² Didn’t we tell you this would happen while we were still in Egypt? We said, ‘Leave us alone! Let us be slaves to the Egyptians. It’s better to be a slave in Egypt than a corpse in the wilderness!’”

¹³ But Moses told the people, “Don’t be afraid. Just stand still and watch the Lord rescue you today. The Egyptians you see today will never be seen again. ¹⁴ The Lord himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.”

¹⁵ Then the Lord said to Moses, “Why are you crying out to me? Tell the people to get moving! ¹⁶ Pick up your staff and raise your hand over the sea. Divide the water so the Israelites can walk through the middle of the sea on dry ground. ¹⁷ And I will harden the hearts of the Egyptians, and they will charge in after the Israelites. My great glory will be displayed through Pharaoh and his troops, his chariots, and his charioteers. ¹⁸ When my glory is displayed through them, all Egypt will see my glory and know that I am the Lord!”

I just get excited when I read this. Here you have the Israelite running from Pharaoh. Scared to death. They would rather be slaves than die in the wilderness fighting for their lives. They look at their situation and know that they are being chased by their enemy and instead of fighting, instead of trying to lose them, they just want to give in???? What is that??? What I see is this: I see God taking control. Staying in control of the situation just like He always has been. Controlling the heart of Pharaoh~ why? So that in verse 18 His glory will be displayed through them. Who will see His glory? All of Egypt. Amazing.
Sometimes in our lives we are just like the Isarelite. We allow our FEAR to take over and we give in. We give in to the temptation. We give in to our weakness. We give in to the stress. We give in to the pain. We give in to SATAN. We would rather be a slave, than to die to self. We would rather give in..... Man. How many times have I just gave in? Moses had to tell them in verse 13 "Don't be afraid. Just Stand Still and watch the Lord rescue you today" verse 14 The Lord Himself will fight for you. Just stay calm." I remember times in my marriage when I knew my husband was stressed because of the bills and I had to say "God will take care of us, just stay calm." Wow. So often we feel like we are being chased. Chased by this world. Chased by sin. Chased by problem after problem. We don't see that God has His hand in everything. We don't see that He is in control. We don't see that He is doing all of this for His glory! His Glory!!! In all that we do, all that we endure, all that we conquer in His name is for His glory.

November: Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-11-08T10:36:00.000-05:00

Outside my window... The Tree's are shivering in the cold wind, however they are thankful that they have not been frozen all the way through to their trunks by snow!

I am thinking... This Friday we are taking the kids for my Ellie's 2nd birthday to see Elmo Live Music Show! The kids (especially the younger two)

I am thankful... For a hot freshly brewed cup of coffee. I am thankful for the heater that sits right under my desk to keep my feet warm as I sit and type. I am thankful for the warm electric blanket that eliminates the cold at night. For the internet and all of it's abundant knowledge on kids crafts.

From the Reading room... I am reading Ted Dekker's The Priest's Graveyard. Mr. Dekker is a Christian Fiction Author that has a few mainstream novels as well. I love that in almost all of his books there is a message about God's love, at the same time his stories are thrilling and very thought provoking.

In the kitchen...There is left over paint from an art project Abby did. I think I'll do another project today. Perhaps this one here Bubble Painting

I am wearing... My new white thermal shirt from old navy and my orange sweat pants.

I am creating... Time. Weird right? But seriously. I am creating time to do things with my kids. More crafts, more fun. I don't want to be one of those mothers that constantly tell their children "go play" or "I'm too busy" I want to be involved, I want to have fun creating memories with my kids. I may not be that mom that always has home made baked goodies, but I will be that mom that creates fun with her children.

I am wondering...About my word for this year. JOURNEY. I have definitely been on a journey and have discovered so many things. I would have to say the greatest thing I have discovered is God's Holy Word. Honestly I've never dived into it and read it with my heart. Because of certain situations my eye's have been opened, and I see more than ever the importance of having a true intimate relationship with God. I saw this picture and thought this is how I want my FAMILY tree to look. I want my kids to see the fruits of the Spirit in me. Through this and prayer, I believe my family will see what a relationship with God truly looks like and want to copy that.

I am craving... To lose more weight. I know that since I've began exercising I have lost some weight. I have toned up and am shrinking, but my weight is the same. I seem to be stuck at 139 lbs. I have to admit that I don't drink enough water, and I haven't been watching my calories intake as much. But as long as progress is being made, then I'm not so worried about the number on the scale.

I am hoping...That I can reschedule my appointment for the extraction of my wisdom teeth for next week. I'm not looking forward to this process, but then again I won't ever have to worry about them either.

I am looking forward to...Getting things done around the house. I still have laundry to do and beds to make. I need to get more candles to warm up my home and make it smell good.

I am hearing.. Abby taking her spelling test in the other room. Joe and Ellie are watching Jack and the Bean Stock on the Tellie :)

Around the house... Our home always looks lived in. You'll find a few things here and there that are out of place but I promise you it is comfortable. The smell is welcoming and the the furniture, comfy. We can sit and talk and yell at the kids to not be so loud :) I just have to ask that you ignore the color paint on the walls. We are renting and I haven't decided if I want to invest in paint and time to spruce it up to my liking!

One of my favorite things.. Pandora. I just love it. I love that we can listen to a variety of music for FREE! Seriously, that is an awesome thing. I have found so many wonderful Christian groups and amazing songs because of Pandora. My Sister Sherry found this one on Pandora. She sent the link to me because the title of the song happened to be my name , Esther :D But the song has become one of my favorites!

A few plans for the rest of the week: I plan on getting some things listed on Craigslist: my barely worn Northface Boots, a Crib, a portable Crib, my Tablet and such. Hoping to use the money for Christmas presents this year.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. This is my family. Me and my husband, our 3 kids and my Big Brother with his 4 kids. We had a coupon for Chili's. With every adult entree you get 2 kids meals for free. Between the 3 adults we got 6 free kids meals. We all ate well and the bill was $32 +tip (plus we got dessert :) The kids were well behaved and we had loads of fun. I am thankful for my family.

Women in the word

2011-11-02T14:56:00.000-04:00

I have been doing a Bible study of 1 John with Courtney at Good Morning Girls and I have to say that it has been such a blessing to read and study this book with other Christian women!

Today's passage was 1 John 3:16-20

^S:¹⁶ We know what real love is because Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters. ¹⁷ If someone has enough money to live well and sees a brother or sister in need but shows no compassion—how can God’s love be in that person?

¹⁸ Dear children, let’s not merely say that we love each other; let us show the truth by our actions. ¹⁹ Our actions will show that we belong to the truth, so we will be confident when we stand before God. ²⁰ Even if we feel guilty, God is greater than our feelings, and he knows everything.

O: The first thing I notice here in VS. 16,17 is that as Christians we are suppose to be sacrificial. We are suppose to support our Sisters and Brothers in Christ. We are to help them, the same way we would try and help our earthly family. The problem is, we don't do enough of this and if we do sacrifice our time, money or work, we end up complaining about it. Doing it out of obligation instead of love. What good comes from doing ANYTHING if your motives are not supported by love? We are selfish. We seek glory from man. We want the satisfaction of easing our conscience, so we "sacrifice." In VS. 18-20 I notice that it is not good enough to just say we love each other. Or just say that "I love God"! The same way that it is not enough to just say to your husband or wife that you love them. It is not enough to just say to your children that you love them. With love comes action! God loved us so He sent His only Son, Jesus to this wicked world. (ACTION) Then Jesus Christ served (ACTION) on this earth. Then he committed the ultimate act of love, He died in every way for us, for me. (ACTION!!!) A lot of proclaimed Christians are saying with their lips that they love love love.... but they aren't proving it through their actions. Whether it is their speech, their attitude, the choices they make or the way the "serve" God or others.

A: Now here is what I see in verse 19 and 20, and this is what I love about God. Because we are human, we are going to fail. We can't always do right because we are sinners. So we fail Him. We fail to love. The difference is, even though we fail we continue trying. We continue to sacrifice out of love and sincerity. We continue to get to know God through His Word, even if it's been a while. We continue to communicate and work things out with our Husband or Wife, even if there seems useless. Once again it comes to your heart. God knows we are going to fail, but He see's our heart. He see's my heart. "He knows everything" I believe that is what all of 1 John is about, the condition of your heart. Of my heart. Our emotions or feelings will tell us that we can not stand before God with confidence because know that we will and have failed. But that shouldn't keep us from trying again and again. If we are sincere in our hearts to Honor and Please God then that is what matters to Him. Because of that we CAN have confidence when we stand before Him. So be sincere in your heart's desire to love. Because God Knows Everything!!

P: Father, help me to love with a sacrificial love. It isn't easy but I believe that is what you want from us. I believe that is the best way to show the world your love. I also believe that this is the most difficult thing to do. Especially when one betrays you or hurts you. Maybe they are not even sorry. Often in this situation, I don't know how to love. I don't know how to show love. I can forgive, but even that is difficult when it seems pointless. But you did it Jesus, You did it when you were dying on the cross and your own children were shouting "crucify crucify" You continued to love, to forgive. Father, I fail you so often. I want more than anything to be able to stand before you with confidence, knowing that I did the best I could. I'm sorry for when I fail you. I truly am.
Love , Your Daughter.

Simple Women's Daybook

2011-10-31T11:04:00.000-04:00

Outside my window... There is a heavy overcast. I feel as if the weather is emulating my heart at the moment.

I am thinking... About Ellie's birthday coming up. Also Christmas presents. Money is so tight right now.

I am thankful...For everything. But today I will mention our Praise team at our church, First Baptist Church of Middleville MI. I don't always know the songs but it always prepares my heart for the message. They have the perfect balance of Praise music and Hymns. I just love it!

From the Reading room... I am about to start another Ted Dekker book called Green It is the 4th book of the Circle trilogy! Read the Summary Here

In the kitchen...Ellie is digging through the snack closet, trying to find her 3rd pack of fruit snack. I think I'll have to say no this time! LOL

I am wearing.. Really? Do you want to know? Well, I'm wearing my exercise pants that are black with a purple waist band, a olive green t-shirt that I slept in and my black robe. ooo and plain white socks :D

I am creating...A plan. My big brother needs a headboard so I think I'm going to help him make one out of old doors. Trying to create a color palette for his room.

I am wondering...What I'm going to make for lunch. My husband and I both need to lose weight, so i'm thinking something simple will do. Low Calorie.

I am craving... A big bowl of Udon noodles (japanese noodles) I love how thick they are and because it is cold, soup sounds good.

I am hoping...That I can get all the laundry done, and all the clothes organized in our closets.

I am looking forward to...Going to my husbands work place today. Because of Halloween, the kids get to dress up and walk through his work to get candy! He gets to take a 15 minute break to walk with us.

I am hearing.. Abby in the dining room practicing her phonics, Joey and Ellie are watching a DVD sent by my mom that has songs and Bible stories. They love the short Bible stories followed by a song! And I love hearing Joey trying to sing with them. Such sweet music !

Around the house... There are a few things on the floor. That is going to happen with 3 kids. I'm pretty layed back so it doesn't bother me. At least not at the moment :D

One of my favorite things.. Right now my favorite thing is at night when the kids go to bed, my brother,my husband and I will sit and sing praise songs while my husband also plays the guitar. We don't have the best voices but it's always fun and we are praising God together, even in the storm.

A few plans for the rest of the week: Today we go to Miguel's workplace, then at 6 we go trunk or treating at our church, after that we'll hit up some housing areas by the golf course !

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. This is Ellie watching the Bible Lesson with Abby. We started her on the A Beka program for homeschooling.

Blog Bash 2011

2011-10-27T21:12:00.004-04:00

My Desk

I am doing a Blog Bash link up! I am really hoping to connect with other Christian moms and wives that share the some of the same struggles as I do as a young mom and wife. I hope we can encourage each other and learn from each other. I love reading blogs that are honest and real. Things that I can relate to in my own life. I even hope that at times it will bring conviction. For you that are stopping by for the first time, my name is Esther, and I am 32 years old. I am a mother of 3 rambunctious and fairly obedient children :D I have been married for 10 years to my college sweetheart. We went to a bible college in Indiana, got married and went into the ministry. My husband was a Pastor for 8 years. Then trails came. Temptation, heart break and devastation. We went through a time that ripped us apart in our marriage, and we almost ended it all. But by the grace of God and with His guidance and strength, we overcame those obstacles that Satan put before us and we forgave and are now healing and working together to restore what almost was destroyed.
There are many things that I love, but I would have to say being lazy is my favorite :) I look forward to the 30 minute breaks when my two little ones go down for a nap. This however can be shortened due to homeschooling my 7 year old, who has many distractions and questions (not work related)! My favorite time to blog and surf the internet is either in the morning when I first wake up, or late at night when all are in bed. My life is simple. It is happy. It is filled with blessings and abundant in love.

Blog Bash 2011

If you would like to join the fun, and learn from other amazing Christian ladies click on the link and you will find us all in listed there!

Beauty Beyond the Pain

2011-10-26T20:36:00.000-04:00

¹ This letter is from Paul, chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus. I have been sent out to tell others about the life he has promised through faith in Christ Jesus.

² I am writing to Timothy, my dear son.

May God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord give you grace, mercy, and peace.

³ Timothy, I thank God for you—the God I serve with a clear conscience, just as my ancestors did. Night and day I constantly remember you in my prayers. ⁴ I long to see you again, for I remember your tears as we parted. And I will be filled with joy when we are together again.

⁵ I remember your genuine faith, for you share the faith that first filled your grandmother Lois and your mother, Eunice. And I know that same faith continues strong in you. ⁶ This is why I remind you to fan into flames the spiritual gift God gave you when I laid my hands on you. ⁷ For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.

⁸ So never be ashamed to tell others about our Lord. And don’t be ashamed of me, either, even though I’m in prison for him. With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. ⁹ For God saved us and called us to live a holy life. He did this, not because we deserved it, but because that was his plan from before the beginning of time—to show us his grace through Christ Jesus. ¹⁰ And now he has made all of this plain to us by the appearing of Christ Jesus, our Savior. He broke the power of death and illuminated the way to life and immortality through the Good News. ¹¹ And God chose me to be a preacher, an apostle, and a teacher of this Good News.

¹² That is why I am suffering here in prison. But I am not ashamed of it, for I know the one in whom I trust, and I am sure that he is able to guard what I have entrusted to him until the day of his return.

¹³ Hold on to the pattern of wholesome teaching you learned from me—a pattern shaped by the faith and love that you have in Christ Jesus. ¹⁴ Through the power of the Holy Spirit who lives within us, carefully guard the precious truth that has been entrusted to you.

¹⁵ As you know, everyone from the province of Asia has deserted me—even Phygelus and Hermogenes.

¹⁶ May the Lord show special kindness to Onesiphorus and all his family because he often visited and encouraged me. He was never ashamed of me because I was in chains. ¹⁷ When he came to Rome, he searched everywhere until he found me. ¹⁸ May the Lord show him special kindness on the day of Christ’s return. And you know very well how helpful he was in Ephesus.

2Timothy 1

Okay, so I know I just had you read a WHOLE chapter of 2 Timothy but there wasn't just one or two verses that I could take out. This is a letter from Paul to his dearest friend Timothy. A letter of encouragement to stay faithful to the cause of Christ. I have read this chapter before, but this time something was so different. Maybe it was because I read it in a different translation (NLT) but whatever the reason it compelled me to write about it. I have always looked and thought of the apostles as the warriors for Christ. Preaching the Gospel where ever they went, carefully but without fear. They were brave men, willing to lay their lives down for Christs name sake. But as I read Pauls letter, he mentions so many emotions. He mentions Timothy crying, He mentions him having a genuine faith like his mother and grandmother. He speaks of a spirit of power, love and self-discipline. A spirit of fear and timidity, suffering, being deserted, kindness, never being ashamed. He mentions all these different emotions. Often when we see emotions in a person it makes them feel "human" they feel tangible, because you probably can relate. The whole purpose of Paul writing to Timothy was to encourage him to keep on going because he knew that it isn't easy preaching the truth, it wasn't easy staying faithful to God or even to Paul who was in prison.

Now, go back and read the high lighted verse. "With the strength God gives you, be ready to suffer with me for the sake of the Good News. ⁹ For God saved us and called us to live a holy life." There are some of us that are going through trials right now. Trials in our spiritual life, trials in our financial life and trials in our marriage. These trails make us want to throw in the towel. Maybe leave the ministry or maybe even leave your spouse. You are done. But just like Paul and Timothy God called us to live a holy life. Paul admits that what he is enduring is hard, almost everyone has deserted him. Almost all of his friends except one has continued to encourage him to stay on the right path. Listen friend, we are at war, and I hate to say it but Satan is winning. He is destroying churches, destroying Christians, destroying families. Yes, he is winning. So i'm writing to you as Paul wrote to Timothy. Don't give up. Don't be afraid to face the challenges! Don't have so much pride that you don't go to God for forgivness because you are afraid of what others might think. Quit casting stones at our sisters and brothers in Christ, but instead encourage them and lift them up in prayer. With your marriage, fight through it. Communicate. Pray. If the Holy Spirit lives in you He will guide you and give you the strength to endure. He did for me. He did for Paul and He did for Timothy. And let me tell you they endured a lot. There was a lot of pain, but the cause was beautiful. It was worth it. My marriage that was almost destroyed, the love nearly extinct is now strong, is now beautiful. The pain, the trials, the heartache was worth it. We lost a lot along the way. Satan won a few rounds. We are no longer in the ministry, but God is still using us. I believe that we are winning the battle, together with God. No matter how hard it is, no matter what the challenges are you can overcome them and win. You just need to trust God with it. You need to believe that whatever you are going through it is for God's glory and His ultimate plan. Don't give up. Don't give up. Don't give up. There is beauty beyond the pain.<3

Simple Woman's Daybook

2011-10-24T13:27:00.000-04:00

Outside my window...There was a little chipmunk sitting on our front step. I wish I had my camera on hand so I could take a picture. One thing that I love about where we live, is the animals we see around our yard. Wild Turkey's, Deer, Rabbits, Squirrels, Snakes, Chipmunks, Cats, Racoons and sometimes little Moles. But my favorite are the birds. Their colors are so vibrant and they make little nests right in your window sill.

I am thinking...That it was a good choice to put Abigail back into homeschool. She started her Video Streaming with A Beka today, and just listening to the Bible story reminded me how important it is for her to have this every morning. In a way it is her own devotion time.

I am thankful...For God's Holy and Perfect Word. There are times, many times when I don't know which way is up or down and that is when God speaks to me through His perfect Word.

From the Reading room... I am doing a Independent Beth Moore Bible study. It is called Jesus, 90 Days with the One and Only.

In the kitchen... Left over egg and bacon omelets sit on the counter. I ran out of nice smelling candles to burn so I have a spiced mandarin orange oil burning.

I am wearing.. Navy blue with Lime green sweats from Aero

I am creating...A mess really. I mean, in my room I have just thrown my clothes on the floor. and Then as I clean and organize the garage, things get brought into the house and so now I have random things lying around. But of course instead of taking care of it, I am on here blogging about it :D

I am wondering...What I should make for lunch today. I tend to cook according to my mood and the weather outside (which is quite nice right now)

I am craving... Nothing really. Which makes cooking hard for me at times.

I am hoping...That my brother can watch the kids tonight so My husband and I can go shopping for Christmas presents.

I am looking forward to... This season in my life being over. There are some seasons that you want to hold on to and treasure every waking moment. Some you would rather skip all together. This season is filled with a lot of hurt. A lot of struggles and though I know I need to wait things out and endure with the strength and patience of God, I would rather just fast forward through it.

I am hearing.. Pandora. Awesome is the Lord Most High sung by Passion. I have realized that though I may be going through a rough season, I can at least have great and uplifting music as the background music.

Around the house... My littlest just woke up from her nap. Her big brother greets her with "You woked up Ellie Bears"?

One of my favorite things.. Is seeing my kids love each other. I love the affection shown between the oldest and the youngest. Abigail is great at putting Ellie down for a nap. Joey is great at greeting them with smiles and love and Ellie brings energy and sometimes frustration to the others. But there is always an abundant amount of love.

A few plans for the rest of the week: This friday Miguel is going to get all 4 wisdom teeth pulled

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. How can this face not make you smile :D

Women in the Word

2011-10-19T10:59:00.001-04:00

I have been doing the 1 John Bible study at Good Morning Girls. And I have been enjoying it so much! Todays Reading was 1 John 2: 26 - 27
"²⁴ So you must remain faithful to what you have been taught from the beginning. If you do, you will remain in fellowship with the Son and with the Father. ²⁵ And in this fellowship we enjoy the eternal life he promised us.

²⁶ I am writing these things to warn you about those who want to lead you astray. ²⁷ But you have received the Holy Spirit,^[h] and he lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true. For the Spirit^[i] teaches you everything you need to know, and what he teaches is true—it is not a lie. So just as he has taught you, remain in fellowship with Christ."

While I was reading these verses, I realized something. Something that every Christian should know and do but fail constantly in doing so. Can you guess what it is? Read it one more time. We are constantly falling out of fellowship with our Heavenly Father. When I say "we" I mean "I, as in me, as in myself"! For a long time I struggled with knowing what Christianity really meant. I struggled with seeing what it was REALLY suppose to look like. I grew up in a Christian home, I went to a Bible college, I was even a Pastor's wife for 8 years. I did not always have a constant relationship with God. I did not always remain faithful to what I was taught. It was easier as a PW because I was setting the example and I tried to be the best example of what a Christian was suppose to be, but I know that I failed in many areas. I lacked knowledge, and it was because I wasn't listening to what the HOLY SPIRIT was saying to be true. I was confused about a lot of things, I did what was expected of me but it was more out of duty then love. Reading and studying 1 John I have learned what it really means to Love. Not just others but to Love God as well. This is truly the first time I am seeing it from a clear, unobstructed perspective. I have always loved God, I always believed in Him. In my heart I truly wanted to serve Him and do what was right, and that was easy while being in the ministry. But when things got tough and trials came, I lost my footing. I was thrust backwards and because I never quite had my own standards and convictions I no longer knew what was acceptable. What was okay and not okay? Everything I knew didn't seem "right" to me. In this time, I was given plenty of advice from people that I respected, people that, in my eyes, where "good" Christians. Looking back not everything I was told was truth. Some things I was able to acknowledge as ungodly counsel, but some things where not so clear to me. That's where verse 26 comes into play. There are always those that will try to lead you astray from the truth. Whether they do it intentionally or whether they are astray themselves. Either way these are people that are not walking with God. People that are not yielding to the Holy Spirit. Sadly there are even Pastors and leaders that are doing this in their very own church. This is why it is soooooo important for us as Children of God to walk with Him. To know Him, to know what His Holy Words say and speak. We need to submit ourselves to His truth. And in order to do this, in order to let the Holy Spirit teach us we need to LISTEN! We need to quiet our own spirit, we need to read and study His words and pray. This is vital if you want to avoid being deceived. If you want to avoid being led astray. Sometimes we are so busy yelling at our children to clean up their rooms, so busy stressing over our unkempt home, so busy trying to take care of all of our chores and duties that we can not hear the Holy Spirit. It's like chaos going on inside of us. Take time to walk with God. To know Him to commune with Him. Do this for yourselves, do this for your family so that they can see what a genuine relationship with God looks like. Do this because you LOVE God and want to obey His commandments. I challenge you!

2011-10-17T11:16:00.003-04:00

Outside my window... There is a slight breeze, just enough to make the trees sway and the leaves dance ! The sun is shining, giving the illusion that it is warm outside.

I am thinking... About friendships. This is something that has been on my heart. I saw this on Pinterest

and I thought that it described my feelings to a tee. There are some that will always be a part of my heart but I can't have them in my life for one reason or another. Regardless of the reason, it is always difficult and always sad, but necessary for growth.

I am thankful... For my God. I've been getting to know Him more and I see more than ever what it truly means to love Him.

From the Reading room... I just finished my book by Ted Dekker (Forbidden) I don't think I care to read the next two in the Mortals trilogy. It is written with a co-author and I just don't enjoy it as much as I do when he writes alone.

In the kitchen... Remnants of our dinner last night still remain in the sink. My husband BBQsome kabobs last night. Bell peppers, Purple onion, Chicken sausage, Steak, and Cherry tomatoes from our garden!

I am wearing.. My gray and pink plaid Roxy slippers, gray sweats and an oversized Addidas sweater.

I am creating... a plan to make home made puff paints with the kids, and yummy rice crispy treats.

I am wondering... How I could get my daughters birthday totally wrong. LOL I was setting up appointments for her to see the Pede's doctor and I just couldn't think of her birthday. I guessed 21, 19, 18 but ummm it's the 17 hahahah. I totally had a duh moment.

I am craving... Pain killers at the moment. I pulled something in my lower back and I am really struggling to get stuff done.

I am hoping... That the weather will warm up. I detest the cold weather and I'm really not prepared for it.

I am looking forward to... my littlest getting better. She has a bad cold and isn't feeling well at all.

I am hearing.. The television playing, and my son barking like a dog. He is trying to make a dog out of lego's!

Around the house... It has been nice. A little more laughter.

One of my favorite things.. Okay so I hate when my kids are sick, but I love how snuggly they get. My youngest one does not like to be snuggled. But when she is sick that is all she wants to do :D

A few plans for the rest of the week: doctors appointment tomorrow, dinner plans on thursday

Here is picture for thought I am sharing..

This is my favorite time. When we all sit for breakfast. Usually once a week. This is my family.

best friends

2011-10-15T16:51:00.003-04:00

If there is one thing that I have always wanted, even as a little girl, it was a true blue friend. A best friend. Someone that you can depend on and make plans together. Someone that loved you for all the good, bad and ugly that you possess because they know that they are just the same. Someone who stands with you, at your side and possibly even in front of you when your enemies are trying to take you down. I've longed for nights filled with movie marathons, popcorn, laughter and tears. Borrowing each others clothes, getting into trouble together, growing together. Everything. But I've never had that. I've had good friends, but even with my very closest friends something was always able to pull us apart in one way or another. I just don't get it. I long in my heart for a friendship that is genuine, constant, dependable, loyal and fun ! One without betrayal. Filled with a sincere love, the way sisters are suppose to be. This type of friendship/relationship is different from your relationship with you husband. I think it is important to be best friends with your husband but I find it just as important to have a girl friend as well. Another Mother, and wife. Someone that you can relate with and talk with about different struggles that we all have as mothers and as wives.

I realize that i'm not the only person that feels this way. I think as humans we all long for that connection with someone. I think we all long for something stable and constant. However I think there is something that has been lost over the years between people and that is LOYALTY. Another word for loyalty is FAITHFUL. The meaning of faithful is :

1. strict or thorough in the performance of duty:

true to one's word, promises, vows, etc.

steady in allegiance or affection; loyal; constant: faithfulfriends.

reliable, trusted, or believed.

adhering or true to fact, a standard, or an original;accurate: a faithful account; a faithful copy.

I do believe I have friends. I know I have friends. I have friends that live in other states, friends that I've met via IRL. I have friends that are playdate friends. Friends that are fun to go out with. Even still, I can't say that I have that one friend. The kind the Bible speaks of. The kind that sticks through it no matter how ugly things get. The kind that never talks bad about you and shuts the ones up that do. The kind of friendship that David and Jonathan had in the Bible.

Proverbs 17:17a "a friend is always loyal"

Proverbs 18:24 " there are friends that destroy each other (not the kind of friend i want or want to be) but a real friend sticks closer than a brother."

Proverbs 27:6 "Wounds from a sincere friend are better than many kisses from an enemy"

Proverbs 27:27 "Iron sharpens Iron , so a friend sharpens a friend"

Making your home a Haven week 2

2011-10-10T17:10:00.000-04:00

This week’s challenge is two-fold also:

Play soft music everyday in your home. Choose music that the family enjoys.

Then, focus on using peaceful words and maintaining peaceful relationships.Role model gentleness with your words this week and while you’re add it have a little fun. Since the music is going, grab your husband or children and dance!

Sooooo.... Dancing? No problem. Music? No problem. Using Peaceful Words and Maintaining Peaceful Relationships? Problem! ughhhghghgghg! Fraggle Rock!

For this challenge to come when it did is very inconvenient for me. You see, I have been under conviction for a while now about how to use peaceful words. You see this right here," 1. When you feel tempted to raise your voice, use a child’s name in a snarl, furrow your brow into a scowl or speak rapidly in anger…purposely lower your voice to just above a whisper."Do you know how many times I have tried this? It starts off this way. It does. I purposely lower my voice. (mostly when disciplining my 7 year old) Then she will open her mouth, and usually it is not the right tone, the right words, or the right body language. And after keeping my voice down, and trying to stay calm I get sick of it and just explode!!! (Not a pretty sight) She is the one that pushes and pushes. I really struggle with her. When she chooses to obey or realizes her mistakes then I don't have a hard time. It's when she makes up excuses,lies or tries to post blame somewhere else. It's the rolling of the eyes and the tight mouth that gets to me and totally throws me into crazy mode. :sigh: It is soooo hard. It really is. But I am up for the challenge.

Ephesians 4:29

New Living Translation (NLT)

²⁹ Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

What conviction right? So yes, I am going to challenge myself to create peace in my home. To not let others bad attitude or words effect my spirit. Instead I will dance, sing and have fun!

2011-10-10T10:46:00.002-04:00

Outside my window...The weather is crisp. It's suppose to warm up to 81* today. There is dew sprinkled across my lawn in the front yard, when the sun hits it it looks like little mirrors reflecting its surroundings!. Crunchy orange, red and brown leaves lye in clusters under their tree. I can't wait to rake them up so the kids can play in them.

I am thinking...How I really do wish God would just return and take us all home with Him. There is so much heartache and sin in this world. So much that I wish my kids would never have to see or experience.

I am thankful...For my brother. He is going through a difficult time right now and is staying with us. We all love him so much.

From the Reading room... I am almost done reading my Ted Dekker book. I'm enjoying it. It was hard to start off , but I stuck with it and glad I did.

In the kitchen... Coffee is waiting for me, but I don't really want it. Frito pie is what I have lined up for lunch/dinner.

I am wearing.. Gray sweat pants, my husbands light blue tshirt and a burnt orange scarf. :) (they're kind of my comfort thing)

I am creating...A menu for this week. I never do this, so it's a big change. It is something my husband always wishes I would do. I'm going to try and do it for a month. I think if I get in the routine of it, it won't be difficult for me.

I am wondering... When my two youngins will be going down for a nap. Ellie slept in our bed last night and it was horrible. I plan on napping when they go down.

I am craving... Sleep. I want to sleep, but when the kids go down that is also my time to exercise.... so I have to figure out which is more important.... hhhhmmm....

I am hoping...For so much. Hope. There is always Hope in our Heavenly Father.

I am looking forward to... Celebrating Ellie's 2nd Birthday. Her Birthday isn't until November but I am planning and shopping now for her birthday!

I am hearing.. Sid the Science kid on tv. and the clicking of my keys.

Around the house... Nothing new. A little clean, A little messy.

One of my favorite things.. Shoes, we bought Joey some Nike Air jordans a while back when they where on sale. At the time they were too big, but they fit now and he looks soooo cute in them!

A few plans for the rest of the week: I just want to enjoy my family. That's all.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. We did this fall kids craft found HERE. Abby really enjoyed it, but the little ones really didn't care. But I loved the end results !

Make Over

2011-10-04T21:03:00.000-04:00

So Blogger has the option to do some pretty niffty things with your blog. I think I'm going to try it out and see how I like it. You can adjust the way you view my blog. Try classic, flipcard,mosaic,magazine,sidebar, snapshot or timeline! Let me know how you like it, otherwise i'm gonna go back to how it was :)

Thanks

31 day Challenge: Making your home a Haven

2011-10-04T12:17:00.000-04:00

Oh to make my home a Haven. If you were to come into my home at any given time, I can tell you how it will be. The 3 season's room will be racked with toys. The living room will have my mini trampoline out, you might find a few stranded pieces of clothing left behind by my almost two year old. She is at that stage of stripping things off and then finding pretty skirts to put on. The pillows that belong on the couch will be unorganized and possibly on the floor or stuffed in the corner. My computer desk will be cluttered with empty water bottles, books and other non essential items. I could go on. It seems like my list is never crossed off completely. I find that I will often take care of big things around the house and over look the smaller things. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed and decide to do nothing LOL. So I am really looking forward to learning and reading and even being convicted in the area of my homekeeping. I already did todays challenge and I immediately can feel the difference.

October 3 - Go buy an extra large candle and light a candle everyday in your home. I will be starting mine in the morning! But you can start yours at dinner time. Do what makes sense for your family. I will be placing mine in the kitchen – the main hub of my home. Each time the candle catches your eye, say a prayer for peace in your home.

31 Day of Love Challenge : day 3: October 3rd

2011-10-04T10:00:00.000-04:00

Today's Challenge:

Look for ONE new way today to show your husband that you LIKE being married to him! This will look different for each of you because each of our husbands are different. With a little bit of creativity and prayer, you can rekindle any lost feeling in the friendship area. Also, you may need to put some of your other relationships on hold until your friendship with your husband is real and vibrant!

My husband and I have always had a great friendship, I think in the past there were things missing. Things that gave room for sin to come in between us. But today, I can say my husband and I are best of friends. We talk all the time. Even when we don't agree on something we respect each other's view. Yes, sometimes there are moments of frustration, when our communication isn't smooth this is when we get bothered by each other. My husband and I think so differently in almost every way. So communication is key for us. One thing that we talked about is when my husband is working in the house, whether he is helping me with the kitchen or cleaning the garage or cleaning out the car, he likes it when we do it together. I realize that my husband just enjoys my presence. He enjoys working with me. I enjoy him just as much but sometimes I am selfish and just want to do my own thing while he is cleaning something up. I want to be lazy and sit at my happy computer, with my happy cup of coffee. This is where I want to improve. I want to be more of a team player. When I see that my husband is cleaning the kitchen or the car, if possible (the kids) I want to go out there and help him with it.

31 Day of Love Challenge : day 2: October 2nd

2011-10-02T11:57:00.002-04:00

Today's Challenge:

Memorize Psalm 19:14 and 139:23-24, then find one thing in this article that you are not doing and do it this week to honor Christ, your First Love, so you can joyfully serve your Second.

Psalm 19:14

New King James Version (NKJV)

¹⁴ Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart
Be acceptable in Your sight,
O LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.

Psalm 139:23-24

New King James Version (NKJV)

²³ Search me, O God, and know my heart;
Try me, and know my anxieties;
²⁴ And see if there is any wicked way in me,
And lead me in the way everlasting.

I have to admit that when I read the blog posted for the 31 day challenge it rubbed me the wrong way. I have learned these things all through college. It is a mind set that makes me say "I am not his servant. I work hard all day too. Why should I have to prep myself and prep the kids and prep the house just for him?" But that's not the right mind set either right? So I am left with this: I know what is important to my husband. He loves to be greeted at the door. I know that he likes coming home to a clean house, he is very understanding and knows that this doesn't always happen because of our 3 kids and I appreciate that about him. I always try to have lunch ready when he comes home from work on his lunch break. This is a sweet time for us in the middle of his work day. I know it means a lot to him when we get to sit down to enjoy a meal together and get to talk. I try to do these things, but I know that there is more that I could do to show him how much I appreciate and love him. I really need to look for the small things. The truth is, I want to make him happy. I want to show him my love for him through my actions. Sometimes I become selfish and just say "oh well" and I want to just do things for myself. This isn't love. So because I love my husband I need to focus on him, on his needs. I need to think about what I can do through out the day to show him how much I appreciate him.

31 Day of Love Challenge : day 1: October 1st

2011-10-01T11:56:00.000-04:00

Today's Challenge:

Read 1 Corinthians 13 (the love chapter) and jot down some of the thoughts that come to mind such as:

What is God's definition of love? Selfless. Sacrificial. Constant. Humble.

What are the characteristics of love? Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
In what areas of "loving" do I stumble the most? When it comes to patience. When I become inpatient, I become unkind.
What are a few of the steps I can take toward change? I need to stop, I need to think and remember this verse. I need to yield myself to the Holy Spirit and pray. I also think I need to listen. Sometimes I am so inpatient that I don't take the time to hear the whole story before losing my temper.

Heart Soul Strength

2011-09-27T12:03:00.001-04:00

Deuteronomy 6:4-9
⁴ “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one!^[b] ⁵ You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.
⁶ “And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart. ⁷ You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. ⁸ You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. ⁹ You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

I have been reading so much on LOVE in the Bible. I am studying 1 John and it has so much to say about loving God, loving one another. As a mother of 3, I want more than anything for my children to grow up seeing the love of God in me. The only way they will see this is through my actions. But that is where the problem lies. You see, I am a Yeller. I get frustrated and lose my patience and I'll start screaming. This isn't something I am proud of by any means. It's just that sometimes I don't know when to take action and discipline or if I should just yell to get my point across that I am serious. How do I show my kids God's love if I am not patient with them? If I don't talk with love and kindness? I decided, I need to study more on God's love. I need to know and be consumed with it. I found this verse in Deuteronomy and it says "love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul and all your strength" Then it goes on to say to post it everywhere, teach your kids, place it on the gates of your home. He wants this message deeply ingrained in our minds. Why? Because if we love Him the way we are suppose to our actions will show it. This is what I need to teach my kids. Teach them what it means to love God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your strength. It's not an easy task either. We are such selfish beings. We fail daily to love God the way He wants us too. It takes strength to resist our flesh, our anger. When we are being patient with our children we are loving God and we are teaching them love as well. When we show humility and meekness, we are being an example of Love. I sometimes hear my daughter talk harshly with her little brother or sister and I think "oh man, she sounds like me" I am failing to teach my kids the love of God. I am failing! I need to change this. I don't want my kids grow up and just think they love God, because that's what we're suppose to do. I want them to KNOW they love God. I want them to know what it looks like and what it feels like. I want them to see it between their Father and Me. So this is my goal. This is what I need to focus on. This is my quest. To know the love of God and to love in return with all my heart,soul and strength!

I am begging

2011-09-26T15:19:00.000-04:00

I AM SO SICK AND TIRED OF ALL OF IT. ALL THE SIN. ALL THE LIES!!! YOU WONDER WHY THIS IS ALL IN CAPS, WELL ITS BECAUSE I AM YELLING. I AM YELLING OUT TO THOSE THAT ARE HURTING THEIR FAMILIES. NOT LOVING THEIR HUSBANDS OR THEIR WIVES. NOT LOVING THEIR CHILDREN. NOT BEING HONEST AND GENUINE. I AM YELLING TO THOSE THAT ARE LIVING A LIFE FULL OF LIES AND DECEIT, THEY FOOL THEMSELVES INTO THINKING THAT THEY ARE A GOOD CHRISTIAN THAT THEY DESERVE SOMETHING FROM GOD. SOMETHING BETTER. LET ME SCREAM THIS AT YOU. WE ARE WICKED, WE ARE SINNERS, WE ARE SELFISH FILTHY BEINGS FULL OF LUST AND HATE. WE ARE A SPECIES THAT STINKS OF SIN AND FILTH. OUR HEARTS HAVE NO GOOD IN IT. NONE!!!!! DO YOU HEAR ME???? THERE ISN'T ANYTHING YOU CAN DO TO BE "GOOD" ENOUGH. WE ALL FALL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD. I hurt, I hurt so deeply. How do you help people? How do you show them that they have to STOP this sickening routine that they live and call life? All they are doing is changing rolls, the heart stays the same but the costume changes. The outside plays good but the inside moans in darkness. They are so lost they can't and don't even know how to help themselves. And in doing what they think is right they are hurting those that mean the most to them. Those that should be cherished and protected. Their children, their spouse, their family. I am angry. I am angry that people can be selfish, that sin can just consume the way maggots consume rotting flesh. And then you induce that same hate, that same burden and pain into your children. Because you are selfish, you are wicked. Don't you see what it takes to heal? Don't you see what it takes to really live??????!!!! Do you not see who you really are in the mirror? If not, pick up the Word of God and read it. Let it be your mirror because I promise you if you truly wanted to see yourself for who you are the Bible will reveal it to you. Lies.... so many Lies... Each having their own consequence, their own reaction. What will it take? Do you really want to please God? Do you? Do you really love Him??? If so obey is Word. Humble yourself. Get off your pedal stool of lies. Remove the mud from your eyes, the scales from your heart and forgive! Love! I know what it feels like to be lost, to be wounded, to be consumed with hate. I thought I was so right in my sin. I thought that I was doing what was okay. I wasn't in the Word. I wasn't seeking Godly council. My heart was hard. I see how wrong I was. I was and am so wicked. I am nothing but a sinner. But the love of God IS in me and I was able to forgive. I was able to love, I was able to see myself in the mirror and say God forgive me.
I hurt for so many families being destroyed by sin. I see them crumble one by one all around me and I cry. I cry because I came so close to losing my family. I came so close to losing my husband. Not even losing him, throwing him away. As if he was so easily disposable. Let me say Marriage is hard. You take 2 sinners and put them together it is almost a guarantee for disaster. But that is why we have God. That is why we are suppose to support each other and encourage each other to walk in the light. But so often that light is dimmed because we like the dark. We like the sin. We indulge in the flesh and its desires. Whether it is anger, or lust. For some it is having no compassion. Unkindness. Selfishness. Deceit. Two Faced. A silver Tongue. Manipulate.Pride.Adultery. Fornication. How can we live for Christ when we are living for ourselves? So I leave you with this question reader. Who are you? What are you doing to show that Gods love is in you? Are you humble? Are you honest? Have you repented and begged for mercy for your childrens sake? For your sake? Have you admitted who you are? Or do you still live a life that is a mirage? I beg you to look, to search your hearts. Come to the cross. Let God love you, heal you, heal your family, save your marriage, your relationships with family or friends. We are to love one another. If God's love is in you , we are to take that love and share it with others.

The Simple Woman's Daybook #4

2011-09-26T09:56:00.002-04:00

Outside my window...There are "colorful" leaves covering the green grass. We have a pit of wood, sticks and junk that we need to burn. Outside my window and down the street is a building where my Brother works, and a dear friend. Both carrying a heavy heart. Struggling to keep above water. I wish I could change life for them...

I am thinking...About them, thinking about their families. My heart aches for them. So I pray.

I am thankful...For redemption. Without God's redemption I would be living a hopeless life. One filled with hate, fear, bitterness, hurt, desolation. But I am not filled with those things. Because God's love is in my I am able to love,forgive, be courageous,hopeful and heal.

From the Reading room... I am reading a Ted Dekker Novel, co written with Tosca Lee. Forbidden. It is getting interesting but the beginning was difficult for me to jump into unlike most of Dekker's books. I am also doing a Bible Study on 1 John. I am enjoying this book so much, i'm learning about God's love and what it looks like when it is truly in you!

In the kitchen... My freezer is full of good food, my fridge is filled with wonderful things. My counters are clean and my sink is filled once again with dishes! LOL I want to add that I am thankful because I rarely ever have to clean the Kitchen. My husband will often do the dishes and wipe down the counters for me. He does this not because he has extra time, often he doesn't, but he does it because he loves me.

I am wearing.. Gray sweat pants, and a pink polk dot pajama shirt! (exciting right :)

I am creating...a plan to lose weight, it is called exercising!!! I have been running, and rebounding. I will be adding my kettle worx routine for the abs. I have been shrinking slowly and I'm am definitely toning up. Good stuff!

I am wondering... If today is going to be a easy day or a rough day! I'm shooting for easy, but my two little ones have colds = whiny and lately my oldest has been having a problem with just saying "yes mom." She has gotten in trouble everyday this past week. She feels like she always has to debate your decision or she just doesn't want to do what you ask. I'm really struggling with this. We go in cycles it seems. She has stretches of disobedience and boundary testing and then she is good for a while.

I am craving... warmth. My house is a bit chilly and I have short sleeves on. I am one that has "thin blood." I get cold so easily and yet I live in MI!!!

I am hoping...That my workout will be as refreshing as it was last night. I rebounded for 30 minutes, 3334 jumps and burned 466 calories. Then I ran a mile and burned 82 calories. I probably could have gone further but my legs felt weird going from jumping to running.

I am looking forward to... Seeing my 3 year old son be the ring barer at my cousins wedding! I am so thrilled about this. I can't wait to see him in his little tuxedo. I will be taking a ton of pictures!

I am hearing...Pandora on my computer. Let it rain by Jesus Culture. Also Charolletes Web on the television.

Around the house... it is kind of dark. Its overcast outside and their aren't any lights on, except my little lamp that is on my desk. It's pretty quiet and the kids are relaxing. I think I will go light some candles.

One of my favorite things.. I love getting hugs from my kids. When they want to just crawl in my lap and snuggle. The two littlest ones do this more with me than my 7 year old, but I need to remember to go to her and snuggle her.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I need to pack for our trip to Ohio. I always tend to overpack so I really want to try and keep things simple.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. Abby had this great idea to do some leave stamping with glitter paint. It came out pretty cool!

Titus Tuesday

2011-09-20T12:09:00.002-04:00

Every Tuesday I will be posting on something that is relative to Parenting, Marriage or Being a Wife :)
1John 5:2,3
² By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God and keep His commandments. ³ For this is the love of God, that we keep His commandments. And His commandments are not burdensome.

Right now I am studying 1 John, and it just so happens that my Pastor preached from 1 John this past Sunday. He preached about loving God. He said one of the ways you love God is through obeying His commandments. When you love God then His love is in you and you are able to love one another. But what stood out to me was the part of the verse that I highlighted! Obeying God should not be burdensome. Because you love Him you should want to please Him, you should want to obey.
That brings me to my husband. (you may know where this is going, if you do maybe you have struggled with something similar as well) My husband loves to be tickled. It is his all time favorite thing. A lot of times when we go to bed, I like to snuggle up close and he likes me to tickle him to help him relax. Usually I don't mind, I'm happy to do it. But then there are times like the other night. Let me begin, I was exhausted. I wasn't feeling well and I was just so so tired. We get to bed and I snuggle close, but I don't tickle him because I'm too tired and all I want to do is sleep. My husband says nothing. As i'm lying there, I feel his body twitch. This means he had a long day and he is drifting off to La La Land. Well because he is twitching I can't sleep, so I roll over. In doing so he woke up and asked if I was okay. I said yes, you're just twitchy. He then said "well you can tickle me and that would relax me".... now, i'm bugged. I am the one that is having trouble falling asleep yet he wants me to tickle him to help him relax so he can go back to sleep.... Hhhmm.. Nope! I said, i'm too tired. A few more words were exchanged and we basically fell asleep annoyed at each other. Which meant we woke up annoyed with each other. Eventually we talked it all out and we are now fine but the problem was selfishness.
So often I don't want to do certain things for my husband. It feels burdensome. Kind of the same way your kids get when you tell them to clean their room! Yup, that's how it would sometimes make me feel when he wants me to tickle him. But why??? I love my husband. I want to please him. I want to make him happy. Yet when I put myself first, I fail to show him all of those things. :( We should both have the same mentality of meeting each others needs. We should want to serve each other, we should think of the others needs and wants, we should put the other first and do it without it feeling burdensome. But we are selfish, we are sinners and that's why it is something we will always have to work at accomplishing. If we both fulfilled each others needs you would have one major tool in keeping a happy marriage. AND you are obeying and pleasing God as well. So this is what I am working on.

Simple Womans Daybook #3

2011-09-19T10:23:00.000-04:00

Outside my window...It is overcast and rainy. Fall is here and the beautiful leaves have begun changing. The other day when I was teaching my 3 year old son about colors I asked him what color were the leaves on the ground (brown) instead he replied "colorful."

I am thinking...About God's love, and what does it really mean to be a Christian. In church this past sunday our Pastor was preaching from 1 John and talking about how if we have the love of God in us, we should love one another and also keep His commandments. How many of us truly love God? How many of us WANT to obey and follow His commandments?

I am thankful...For Godly music. There are some songs that renew my spirit when I hear them and sing them. I lift my hands by Chris Tomlin, Blessings by Laura Story, Praise you in the Storm, Bring on the Rain. Just as I am, It is well with my soul, Refiners Fire. and there are so many others. Christian music is important to me, it reminds me to keep my focus on Christ and not on the hurt and the burdens around me.

From the play room...Toys clutter the floor. A good sign that the kids have been having fun. Sometimes I get irritated that they have messed up the room again, and I'll start yelling for everyone to help clean up. And sometimes my oldest who is 7 will say "mom, it's okay, just let them enjoy life." Obviously she isn't the one having to clean the mess, but she is right. I need to remember to relax more and let things go a bit. Allow my kids to have fun and enjoy life :)

In the kitchen...The coffee pot is now empty. I'm finishing up my morning cup. There are a few things on the counter and dishes in the sink. I have yet to decide what we will be having for lunch. Whatever I come with I'm sure it will be sufficient :)

I am wearing...My blue and lime green Aero sweats and hoody.

I am creating...Change in my life right now. It's time for me to evaluate where I am as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter of Christ. I want to be the best at each and I want to have the closest relationship with my husband, my kids and my Heavenly Father. In order to do that change needs to take place.

I am wondering... What the other ladies that are doing the 1 John Bible study thought about the devotion/verses they read.

I am reading...Forbidden by Ted Dekker. I love his books. This one is a bit confusing at first but the more I read it the more I understand.

I am hoping...To get my run in today. I didn't exercise over the weekend and it's time to get back on the tread mill!

I am looking forward to... A sunny fall day so I can pull out my camera and take some shots of my kids.

I am hearing...Elmo on the tv and Mercy me on the computer singing Here with me

Around the house... I have laundry to put away. The house always gets out of hand over the weekend. I think we all like to just be lazy, and then Monday comes around and it's time to clean up!

One of my favorite things today... will be pulling out my fall/winter clothes. I always look forward to pulling out my clothes, it's almost as fun as going shopping because often I forget what clothes I've packed away and they feel new when I pull them out again :)

A few plans for the rest of the week: I have an appointment on friday, and I might go on a few playdates this week but I don't know.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. Last week I mentioned that Abby was student of the week and we were able to visit her in her at school. The other kids asked questions about Abby and we got to tell a couple of stories about her. She loved all of it! and so did we :)

1 John

2011-09-19T09:09:00.001-04:00

This is my notebook for the 1 John Bible study that I am doing with my sister and some other ladies online. I wanted to add a little fun to m simple notebook so I took whatever was lying around the house and played with it. I have to say that i love the sloppiness of the paint LOL it's not perfect, it's not clean, it's very carefree and I think it represents my life well. I am looking forward to this study.

Simple Womans Daybook #2

2011-09-12T10:09:00.000-04:00

Outside my window...It is so sunny. It's cool outside but is suppose to warm up to 81* today.

I am thinking...About so many different things. My family is enduring some difficult things right now.

I am thankful...For my husband. He has been a rock for me and a constant support of encouragement and love. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

From the play room...The kids are watching Dora. My 3 year old and my almost 2 year old was playing Connect Four. Of course not the correct way but Josiah was counting each one he put in and Ellie was working on actually getting them in. I love that they play so well together.

In the kitchen...Again I have dishes in the sink, but not the same ones from my previous post :) My husband generally does the dishes for me and cleans up the kitchen but instead we opted to watch a movie together and said the dishes could wait.

I am wearing...My husband white t-shirt and a black bubble skirt. In other words lounge wear.

I am creating...A paint pallete for my living room. Trying to decide what colors I want in here. Everything is black and white with just a little red and I think I want the walls to be a Teal Aqua and white.

I am wondering... If Abby is having a good day at school. Last week she was chosen for Student of the Week. So for 15 min each day she gets to talk about her interests. Today she brought in some glass jewelry we made together and she is going to talk about that.

I am reading...The Love Dare. My husband and I read this every night together before bed.

I am hoping...That the kids will go down for a nice long nap. That way I can exercise and clean up AND get lunch ready. Today my Big Brother is coming over for lunch.

I am looking forward to... Picking up Abby from School so I can hear all about her day. After homeschooling her for 3 years, I've missed having her around during the day.

I am hearing...The TV. Bubble Guppies is on.

Around the house... Things are a little out of sorts, but it should only take about 30 mins to pick up and vacuum. At this moment Ellie is trying to do a balancing act on the edge of the fireplace. This little girl has no fear.

One of my favorite things today.... Is knowing that I have a family to spend it with. I miss my siblings and their families. And with all that we have been going through, I am just thankful for each day that I have with my own family.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I am going to Abby's school tomorrow to be interviewed by Abby's classmates. The kids and I will get to stay for lunch with her. and then on Fri. I have an appointment.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing..

This is Abby . Student of the Week. She is so excited to share her likes and dislikes with her classmates! I'm so proud of this little girl!

From Homeschool to Public School!

2011-09-06T10:09:00.001-04:00

I didn't CRY!!!! LOL I totally thought I would cry when my ~~little~~ girl, I mean big girl, put on her hello kitty back pack and walked out to the car with her dad. She was walking away from the only schooling she knew. For 3 years I have homeschooled my daughter. I have a love/hate relationship with homeschooling. I'm not the most patient person and Abby was the type that wanted you to sit by her side and watch her do her work. Which was fine when she was the only child but since I now have two little ones to take care of I could no longer just sit with her. It was always a struggle to balance her homeschooling, taking care of the little ones and cook before my husband came home for lunch. We had our good days and we had our bad days. Abby is such a perfectionist. She can't stand for things to look sloppy but at the same time she wants to hurry and get done. She easily gets distracted because we have the t.v. going or the kids are wanting help with something. I would have to constantly get on her. I felt like our relationship was being stunted because of homeshooling. Are we close as mother and daughter? Yes, very close. But I don't want Abby hating school because she loves learning. I didn't want to be annoyed with her because she wants to do something with me after school was over with, "I just sat with you all morning, teaching you, helping you. No I don't want to do something together." Sounds awful right? But that's how it is. I have a lot of respect for mothers that can not just homeschool but be patient and loving and consistent with it. In addition, a mother that homeschools and still participates and interact with their kids. I also had a lot of guilt because while I was devoting so much attention to teaching Abby, I was ignoring Ellie and Joey. I would send Joey to watch tv, and I would put Ellie to bed 2 hours after she woke up. I feel like one of the reasons Abby is so bright, is because when she was her siblings age, we did everything together. We had fun, we explored! I want that same interaction for my two little ones. So while Abby is at school I am going to focus on playing and teaching my two little ones. What I am most excited about is when Abby comes HOME from school! I want to hear all about her day. I want to know what she learned and I want to help her with her homework. I will be volunteering every other Friday in her class. I think Abby is going to love school. She is going to make good friends, and be challenged by other students academically! I'm just so excited for her. I'm praying it will be a great year for her.

Simple Womans Daybook #1

2011-09-05T22:09:00.001-04:00

Outside my window...It is crisp and cold. The wind is blowing and you can't feel any humidity.

I am thinking...About my oldest daughter, Abigail. She is starting second grade tomorrow and it is her first time going to a public school. I am praying for her.

I am thankful...That my husband gets to work overtime. Today is a holiday so he got holiday pay plus overtime.

From the learning rooms... Getting papers and books ready for Abbys backpack. Also printing things out to do with my 3 and almost 2 year old.

In the kitchen...Coffee sit in the maker, keeping it warm until I get a chance to make a cup. A few dishes are in the sink and the sun is shining through the window.

I am wearing...my exercise clothes, getting ready to run on the treadmill.

I am creating...Room in our garage. We still haven't unpacked everything since moving here in April.I am going...to a meeting with the town Mayor.

I am wondering...About some friends that are struggling in the marriage. I've been praying for them constantly.

I am reading...Green by Ted Dekker. It is the newest book of the Circle Trilogy.

I am hoping...That Abby will do well in school. That she will make good friends and enjoy her teacher.

I am looking forward to...Spending time with my two little ones. Since I'm not homeschooling Abby I will have time to devote to them.

I am hearing...The sound of the TV. Miguel is playing his new Madden game.

Around the house... Things are quiet. Kids are behaving and playing with each other.

One of my favorite things today.... Is the time I get to spend with my family. The weather as well. It reminded me of New Mexico weather. Sunny yet cool.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I don't plan ahead.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing..
This is a picture of Abby on her first day of Homeschool Group last year in first grade.

Trust

2011-08-27T16:44:00.003-04:00

How do you trust? How do you trust AGAIN is what I should ask.? How do you stop fearing that history will repeat itself? How do you let go of everything you are trying to control and do, to protect yourself from the pain that was once unbearable? How? I know some would say "it just takes time", but how much time and what do you do in the mean time? It's a scary feeling as if your world is made of nothing but Jenga blocks and within a few wrong moves the whole thing can come crashing down. How do you close your eyes and just let yourself fall TRUSTING that they will catch you? :sigh: It's so hard. It is built in us to resist, to be cautious, to hesitate. It's built into our survival skills. Some may say "you just have to pray about it." But don't we as Christians struggle in the same way with trusting God? Not that He hurt us but maybe He has allowed pain to come into our lives? It's hard to trust Him because we are afraid of His answer and we don't want to hand over the control? I use to think it was so simple. How do you trust? You just do. The way your child jumps off the bed trusting you will catch them. What I didn't realize is if you didn't catch your child and their little body slammed into the floor, they would not jump into your arms so easily the second time around.

And I find it sad that the pain we have endured can hinder our faith in our Heavenly Father. Sure sometimes it can strengthen it, but I think more than often it weakens us. It puts fear in us which cripples our heart from trusting.

Does any of this make sense? Sometimes I feel like one question just opens the flood gates to more questions. So after all these thoughts and questions, the only solution I have come up with is, Communication. For me I have to voice my fears. I need to look the person in the eyes and tell them "i'm afraid .....". Does that mean that the person won't hurt me again? Does it mean that it will prevent my Jenga world from falling? No, it doesn't but it does give me the opportunity to say what is on my heart instead of going mad within my own mind. Yes, for me the key is communication. No matter how stupid I look, no matter how insecure, jealous or crazy. Because I never want to look back and think "If only I'd said something...."

Scars of Mercy

2011-08-22T11:38:00.002-04:00

Pandora is playing on my computer. Listening to Laura Story and some other Christian artist. :sigh: I've stopped by my blog several times to sit and post something but nothing would come. I have so many thoughts that go through my mind. I think about so many of my friends and the things they're going through right now. I think about the things i'm learning in church and conversations I've shared with my Brother and my Husband about Sin. But when I sit to write, I can't focus. I was looking at some pictures on my little sister's FB wall and came across some photos that made my heart ache. You know, sometimes you go through things and you heal from it. You forgive, you press on but there is a scar. Eventually most scars heal, the redness and swelling may fade and it then becomes a silver line. Then you have scars that just get worse. I think of burned victims and how their scars just tighten, they always hurt. Maybe not as bad as when their injury first took place, but its a different pain. What if my scars never heal? What if the pain just stays with me and I only have moments of relief? Sometimes I just wish I had a magic wand. Turn back time and prevent hurt from happening. But what then? Would I miss out on all the wonderful blessings I've encountered because of the trial, the journey that I have been traveling? The song that I was listening to is called "Blessings" by Laura Story. The chorus says this:

Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

What if? What if all the heart ache ALL of it was God being merciful? Preventing something that was detrimental? Something that was broken so bad it could not be repaired? Would I still trade in my scars for a do over? Would I turn back time and change the awful events that took place? No. Because though I may have scars on my heart, and though the pain comes and goes, my heart now beats stronger. It has grown to love more, it holds more compassion for others. But more than that, it is a reminder to me that God is holding it in His hands. Because without Him, the scars would not exist. The only thing existing would be the remnants of a shattered heart, constant pain and damage irreversible. So today I am praising God for the rain, the storms and the trials of this life because they just might be mercies in disguise.

The Current One

2011-07-21T17:16:00.000-04:00

Pinterest Inspired :)

listening to Ugly Betty on the television
eating smaller portions and less sugar

drinking energy drinks, water and plenty of coffee

wearing a summer dress that is probably a touch too short, made of satin and soooo pretty :)

feeling good about losing weight and working hard, I never thought I could.

wanting to have the best marriage a person could have. We've already come so far and it just gets better as we go.

needing to get more creative. I know I have the ability I just need to be will to apply it.

thinking that I have really amazing kids. They are obedient for the most part and so good to each other.

enjoying each day. You never know if tomorrow is going to be better or worse so just enjoy today.

wondering what i'm going to cook for dinner. I never seem to plan these things and I wish I did. I should. lol

creating a closet full of beautiful shoes. shoes are just my favorite.

procrastinating seems to be my middle name.

pondering about nothing at the moment, but often think about my friends and their marriage.

loving Pinterest.com they have so much inspiration on that board.

anticipating my birthday present from my husband. We're taking a trip to D.C. and Maryland. About 10 hours away.

We can learn a lot from Ants

2011-06-14T11:04:00.000-04:00

Proverbs 6:6-8

King James Version (KJV)

⁶Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:

⁷Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,

⁸Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.

Proverbs 30:25

King James Version (KJV)

²⁵The ants are a people not strong, yet they prepare their meat in the summer;

So I was reading a book called "Why Pandas Do Handstands" it's a collaboration of interesting facts on insects, animals and sea creatures. I usually keep this book in the bathroom because the articles are short. Lately my dd Abigail has been interested in ants. She wants to know why we need them, why God created them, so we've been discussing ants. I came across this chapter called "Workers of the World: Nature's Jack-of-all-Trades" It mentions how small leaf cutter ants are like the Armed Guard. A special team of leaf cutter ants and Amazonian ants are also the world best Gardner's. They are Milkmaids, Millers , Undertakers and best of all TEACHERS :) This is the section that really convicted me and caught my attention. Let me Quote it for you " When foraging for food, a mature temnothorax ant may carry an apprentice ant along with it. The teacher uses a technique scientists have called "tandem running" to show the student the right path to take on future food runs.
The Teacher shows great patience. If the student stops every now and again to familiarize itself with the surroundings, the teacher waits. The student then taps the teacher on the hind legs and abdomen when it is ready to move on. If the student drops too far behind, the teacher slows down and waits for it. It takes the teacher four times longer to get to the food, but scientist believe the loss to the colony in terms of this single journey is more than compensated for by having another ant introduced to the correct route."
The Bible talks about how we can learn to be a hard worker just like the ant, but we could learn to be patient like the ant as well. I thought about how often I would get irritated or bothered with Abby while homeschooling. So often I was rushing her to hurry up and finish her work. I would get frustrated if I taught her something and the following day she wouldn't remember. Now the school year is over but I can still practice being like these tiny ants. I mean as a mom do we ever stop teaching? I love that God can humble us by using the smallest creature.

Reflections

2011-04-27T13:18:00.000-04:00

I walk into a room, I can't see any detail in the room except for a group of young ladies. They are in a row, some sitting, some standing. I think to myself "these girls look familiar, do I know them?" I walk closer and I come up to the first girl. She is 11 years old. She is skinny and small. She has her hair pulled back in a pony tail real tight and is neatly dressed. Instead of being happy and excited about life, I see fear and sadness in her eyes. At that moment I understood and knew why she was so sad, tears slipped down my cheeks. It was school. She was being bullied and threatened and didn't have any friends because of this ONE girl. She dreaded going to school. I squatted down and I took her hands. "Look at me little one, you don't know who I am, but I know you. I love you very much and you are very special. I know you are scared, hurting and alone but this pain will make you stronger. It won't be like this forever. Don't worry our Heavenly Father has something wonderful in store for you." The little girl perks up a bit and her heart is comforted. Just hearing these words gave her a little more courage. A little more strength. I come to the next girl about 16 years old, she has her back turned, her arms folded. Her hair is long and beautiful. She is slim and dainty. I walk around to face her and she has a smile on her face. At first glance she seems happy. Except I can see deeper. I know all of her secrets. All of her hurts. She is in love, so in love. She has friends. But this time it is not love or school that is hurting her, it's her home. Her relationship with her parents are broken. Bitterness has taken root in her heart. She is planning on running away from home, not knowing that it will lead toward a chain of events. Again tears fill my eyes and run down my cheeks. I reach out and give the girl a big hug. I squeeze her tight. Oh how I love this young girl. She has no clue, she is so naive. Misunderstood. I pull back and I look her in the eyes. "You don't know me, but I know you. You are a wonderful person. Yes, you have made some wrong choices but I understand and know why you made them. You are smart. You are beautiful and life can be a beautiful thing. Right now you don't understand it. You don't see the beauty in all that you have but you will one day. All of the pain and all of the hurt will only make you stronger. The bitterness is hurting you and it must be removed. Your parents love you. They don't always treat you as if they do, but they are human too. You will make it. I promise. You're stronger than you know. Be smart. Think about what is truly important." I embrace her once more and give her a kiss on her cheek. As I walk and get closer to the next young lady I can see that she is frustrated. She's in college and is so tired of all the nonsense rules. She feels trapped. You see this isn't a normal college. It's one that dictates every thing you can and can not do. She feels like no matter what she does or doesn't do, she doesn't fit in. Some may say, "just leave." But it's not even an option for her. She doesn't want to disappoint the ones that are rooting for her to make it. She wouldn't even know what to do next if she did leave. So she stays. She struggles, and even though she has friends and even though she is in love, she still feels alone. Misplaced. I put my arm around her," Hi friend. You know, you won't be in this place much longer. You will make it in-spite of what some may think. You don't know this now, but this school is making you a much more balanced young lady. I don't agree with all that takes place with this college. But you do have a choice. You can conform to their beliefs and their rules or you can simply stand and be who you are and walk a lonely road. Either way, you will make it. You are strong and you are special. No matter what others may say, no matter how they see you. You are an amazing young lady. Hang in there my friend." I kiss her on the forehead and walk away. I come to the next lady. She is 21 and dressed in a lovely white wedding dress. Her vale is drawn over her face. But I can see the excitement in her eyes through the vale. She has such a sweet smile. She is so full of hope and love. Thrilled to be marrying a man that is going to make all her dreams come true. One that is going to love and cherish her. One that she can honor and obey. She adores him. It will be a simple vow to uphold. Looking at her, I get a little choked up but I put a smile on my face. I lean in to hug her and I whisper in her ear," You look stunning. Enjoy this day and remember the butterflies, don't ever lose this feeling." Thank you she replies and her thoughts shift back to her wedding day and all that it will possess. I walk away from her feeling a bit sad and happy at the same time. But then I come across a young mother. She is holding her little baby girl and trying to comfort her. Her hair is in a sloppy ponytail and she is still in her pajama's. She has no make up on and I can see that she hasn't been sleeping well. I quicken my pace and I hold out my arms, "here, let me hold her for a little while." "no," she replies "she cries with everyone and she's pretty heavy." "That's okay," I said and gently took the baby from the weary mothers arms. "Don't worry, I love little babies and I'm pretty good with them." Instantly the little girl quieted down. The new Mother was amazed. "I've been so tired lately. I've been nursing her every hour and she hardly sleeps. She cries so much unless i'm holding her, which I don't mind except i'm exhausted and my husband doesn't understand why I can't get anything done around the house. Some days I forget to even eat or brush my own teeth. All I want to do is take a little nap." The young mother starts to cry but holds back. "Don't worry. You are doing a fabulous job. Go take a nap and I'll just sit right her with your little one." The young Mother was hesitant, but thankful for some help. As she napped I played with the sweet little baby. Taking in the sweet smell of a newborn. Feeling her soft cheek up against mine. I love this little girl so much. She is a special little girl with so much in store for her. It seemed like only moments but the young Mother came back. "Thank you so much, I needed that more than you know." "Believe me, I know exactly how much you needed it." We both laughed and I went on my way. Before I can reach the next young lady, her sobs fill my ears and my heart. Instantly my heart breaks, a sick feeling fills my stomach. I stop in my tracks because for a moment fear crept into my soul. Resisting to give in I run as fast as I can towards the cries. I see her lying on the floor with her face buried. I quickly sit down and put her head in my lap. I push her hair off her face and wipe her tears with my sleeve. I cry with her. She is so broken. So destroyed. Her love has been betrayed. She has been casted to the side, another has been chosen. She is no longer that young bride filled with hope, instead all she feels is betrayal, pain so deep that it takes her breath away. She is simply a shell of what she use to be. Everything she has worked so hard to hold on to has slipped through her fingers. She is more alone now than she has ever been. Fear, hopelessness, confusion, anger, hate, sadness and desolation has filled her heart. Such betrayal by the ones she loved the most. She isn't the only one that has been betrayed either. Her kids.... Her 3 beautiful little babies. Innocent, dependent. They have also been betrayed. All I can do is cry with her, then finally I gain my strength. I sit her up and I hold both of her hands as tight as I can. "Look at me, I want you to believe me. You have to believe me when I tell you that this will pass. You are NOT alone. You are NOT worthless. You are strong. You are beautiful. You are an amazing Mother. You are a fantastic Wife. Your heart is beautiful. Your faith is strong. Your Heavenly Father is holding you and loving you. He hasn't given up on you. Please, you have to believe me. This pain you feel will not last forever. Things will be better. You will be happy again." I began to cry and I just wrapped my arms around her as she sank into my arms. Broken. I didn't want to leave her but knew that I couldn't stay there. I had to stand and press forward. So I wiped my cheeks, I let go of her and I stood up. At first my knees where a little weak and my stomach still queasy. But I quickly regained my composure and walked away. The further I was the stronger I felt. But she was the last of all the woman. Where was I to go next? Then I saw something glimmer. It caught my attention so I walked towards it with curiosity. As I got closer I saw that it was a huge mirror. Except, when I looked into this mirror I didn't see my own reflection. Instead I saw faces of people I knew that have in some way resembled the women I saw earlier. Reflections of women who have been betrayed by their husbands, by their loved ones, by friends. Standing there looking at me broken, sad, struggling. Some smiling yet sadness is in their eyes. Before me I see Women that simply don't fit in and are lonely. They don't see their worth and how beautiful they are. They doubt their self worth. They lost their strength and their hope. They doubt their capability to be a good mother and a good wife, feeling as if they can't ever get it all done and they can't get it right. Ladies filled with insecurities and fear. As I see these ladies, I feel their heartache. I reach out and touch the mirror and my own reflection appears. I stand there and look. What is it that I see? Tears. I see tears. They are running down my cheeks, I can't make it stop. I look deeper, am I sad? Am I hurting? No. I'm happy. I have scars but scars are just proof of surviving the pain. I see that I'm stronger. I'm standing on my own. I know more of who I am. My relationship with my Heavenly Father is deeper and sweeter. He stands right behind me, never leaving me. Never abandoning me, always loving me. So why am I crying? Then I realize..... I'm crying for you. My heart breaks for those of you that have traveled or is traveling a road much like my own. Maybe you haven't reached the place that I am at now, but you will. I want to say to you dear friends, " I love you. You are special. You are worth so so much. You are beautiful and strong. God has something great in store for you. You may not see it, you may even be afraid of it. But you are NOT alone. You have a friend that cares for you. That prays for you and thinks of you. Even if I don't know you well. Even if we have never met in person. If all I know is your story, then I am your friend. I will not judge you. I will not criticize you. I will not blame you. Instead I want to love you. I want to encourage you. I want you to know that you are not alone. Do you hear me? You're not alone. My heart hurts for you. You may feel like there is no hope, but I hope for you. I hope that you will find your strength to stand against the bully's in your life. I hope you will look at yourself and see the beauty that God has given you. I hope you can wipe away the tears and find joy, peace and happiness. You may not be where I am at today, but I hope that one day soon you will be." I love you.

A love Note from Me to Him

2011-04-22T22:51:00.000-04:00

I have a special coffee cup. It's MY coffee cup. It's my FAVORITE coffee cup. I know just how much coffee and creamer to put in to make the perfect cup of coffee. It's heavy and feels good in my hand. It's my favorite cup. Well one day my husband says to me, " I would like to have my own coffee cup." I found this to be somewhat funny. :giggle: He obviously thinks i'm cool and wants to be just as cool as I am with my sleek coffee cup . (Did I mention it's a Charmed City Cakes Coffee Cup?) Anyhow. When he said that, I made a mental note of it. I've been looking but I want it to be as cool as my coffee cup. I thought about a Chicago Bears cup, I thought about a plain starbucks cup but they just didn't feel right. Then I saw this coffee cup. It's a starbucks coffee cup and it came with a pen to write on it. After you write or draw on the mug you bake it. I love things that are personalized so for me this was awesome. I purchased the cup and went home. I began to think about what I was going to do with the cup. I could let the kids help out and draw a picture on it, but I decided against that because I wanted this cup to be from me only. I could doodle our names with hearts and stick figures but thought that was kind of cheesy. So I wanted something that was gonna put a smile on his face and at the same time melt his heart. A love note. And because I love my blog so much I am going to let you read my Love note to my husband.

:Dearest Miguel, <3 + <3= <3 <3 <3 (that was my doodle. me +him = our 3 kids)

I want you to know, that every morning I wake up happy. I can reach over and hold your hand, I can lean over and give you a kiss, I can wrap my arm around you and pull you close. Close enough to whisper in your ear, "Good Morning Love, can you please wake up and make me some coffee?"

Yes, What would I do without you!? Love you forever Esther:

LOL I thought this is perfect! I gave it to him and honestly it almost brought tears to my eyes because even though I tease, I love him so much. I love his heart and I love how he loves me. I'm so thankful for this cup :)

Bob Marley? Words of Wisdom

2011-04-19T12:19:00.000-04:00

I saw this for the first time and it made me stop and think. As woman what do we want or expect in a man? Do most woman have a list in their head of what they want? Before I got married I had somewhat of a list, but I didn't really want to marry either. I had physical things that were a must (straight teeth, full lips, nice butt LOL you know the normal stuff) But as for other things I didn't really have a LONG list of wants. Gentleman was a must, hard worker, fun, smart, responsible... looking back what good was this list really? I think we go into marriage with the wrong expectations. What about the list you've prepared for yourself? What kind of wife do you want to be for someone? What are your expectations for yourself? I'm not saying don't expect "certain" things from him, like faithfulness or selfishness but the things you expect from him are the same things you should expect for yourself. We all want the perfect man. The kind that spoils us, is romantic enough to surprise us with get away trips, always agree with what we say, wakes up thinking of how he can make us happy that day, Oh and lets not forget he can read our minds :) Mr. Marley is correct, there is no Mr. Perfect. But the man that makes you laugh, the one that is humble enough to admit when he is wrong, the one that forgets to hang his clothes up in the closet or put his cereal bowl in the sink (rinsed of course). The one that doesn't always hear everything you say because he's thinking about the bills. He just might be YOUR mr. Perfect. After all we all have flaws. We all fail at times, and we are all capable of disappointment. The solution? Forgive, Love and Press forward together. Be a team. In the end you both will be perfect for each other.

What's Up ?

2011-03-24T13:45:00.000-04:00

i know it's been a while since I've blogged HERE but that doesn't mean I haven't been blogging. It also doesn't mean that I haven't been discovering (my word for the year). For those that don't follow my other blog, please allow me to fill you in, I have started exercising and dieting. Not really dieting in the sense of a type of diet, but I have curbed my eating habits. If you want to read about it you can check it out here: http://ehdelgado.blogspot.com/ What else have I discovered? Well there is one item of food that I have never tried, SUSHI. I just could not getting past the idea of raw fish. I imagined it to be fishy, or chewy, not my favorite taste or texture. But I was out with my friend and we shared a plate of Tuna sushi. It was AMAZINGLY good. it was mixed with vegetables and some other stuff and you scooped it up with a fried chip. It had a spicy sauce and it was so delicious. I wish I would have taken a picture of it. The other thing that I did that I have never done before was attend a concert. I went with my brother and his wife and then a mutal friend. We went to see Sugarland! I was so excited! Our seats were high up so I was a little disappointed but seriously, I didn't care. I was just happy to be there! We sit down and a guy comes out, James something from American idol like season 9 . not too thrilling But then...... LITTLE BIG TOWN comes out and I couldn't believe it!!! They were opening for Sugarland! I LOVE LOVE LOVE little big town. I jump up and start clapping and then they start to sing. Wait a second, that's not a country song. "I'll catch a grenade for you" OMG they were awesome they were singing Bruno Mars acoustic style. Loved it then they sang some of their own songs. Then it was time for Sugarland: The incredible machine! I can't even go in detail trying to explain all they had going on. They sang all kinds of different songs, Darth Vador and his storm troopers were there, they signed and gave away a guitar, the had a little girl march a flag that said love on it. They sang Madonna, Britney Spears, Cee Lo Green, and a few others. It was so much fun, the energy the fun was awesome and abundant. So as you can see I have been discovering a few things. :)

Dear Blog.

2011-02-10T22:24:00.000-05:00

I need to blog. If I don't blog, then I feel as if I am neglecting a friend. It's always in the back of my mind and I think of things that I want to blog about, but then I don't get to it. I would rather watch an episode of Grey's Anatomy, or eat cookies with my coffee and read my book. And though I enjoy those things, my poor neglected blog stays in the back of my mind whispering to me.
Why is that? I know some folks blog because they want to vent to the world about what's going on, some just love to receive comments and feed back. For me, it helps me relax. It helps me get my thoughts in order and my spirit back on track. So until I do it, I feel stressed. Tense. My head feels full.
Since moving to Michigan, my family has been looking for a church. One that has a great children's ministry, and preaching that can help us grow. So far we haven't found the right church for us and to be honest, it is draining. Some Sundays we won't even go. We'll find an excuse to stay home, snuggled in our warm beds. And although I don't think we are being horrible Christians by not going to a church service Sunday morning, the feeling still nags me. (or is that the Holy Spirit ;) Sort of like when I need to blog, but choose to do something else. And when we are in a church service, I can tell from the moment we start to sing that I feel like crying because it feels like I have been neglecting a friend. A very Dear Friend. I sing the words of the songs and I let them saturate my soul. Allowing it to be my prayer. Can I just say that there is nothing sweeter? The power of music. The power of praise. It really does so much for the spirit. I would love to find a church that had a wonderful praise and worship time followed by a convicting message. An encouraging message. One that is going to help build our family, drawing us closer to our Heavenly Father.
A thought just occurred to me. If when I sit in church and feel how much I have missed my Heavenly Father, I wonder how He feels and how much has He missed me? It must be a lot because after all He loves me more than anyone else in this world could love me and He loves me more than I love Him. I need to remember to Discover this daily. To find time in each day to not neglect Him. To praise Him. To communicate with Him. To simply say "I'm thinking of you today."

In the Waiting ~ Greg Long

2011-01-26T14:53:00.000-05:00

Love this song.

lyrics :)

Lyrics:

Pain.
The gift nobody longs for; still it comes.
But somehow leaves us stronger when it's gone away.
Pray.
I try and pray for Your will to be done.
But I confess it's never fast enough for me it seems.
The hardest part is waiting on You.
When what I really want is just to see Your hand move.

I want a peace beyond my understanding.
I want to feel it fall like rain
In the middle of my hurting.
I want to feel Your arms as they surround me.
And let me know that it's okay
To be here in this place
Resting in the peace that only comes
In the waiting.

Time.
Time to let it go and just believe.
Trusting in what no one else but You can see.
Free.
Freedom from the fears that close me in.
And I can get beyond where I have been
But then again, the silence doesn't mean that I'm alone.
As long as I can hear that I am still Your own.

One Word Capture: week 4

2011-01-24T20:14:00.000-05:00

Discovering the Past

This is something I started when Abby was little. We would have such interesting conversations and have received many wonderful laughs remembering them. I look at my now 6 (almost 7) year old and am amazed at how much she knows. I don't know if it is because she is the first but she seems so mature for her age. She can carry a conversation with any adult and make perfect sense. In fact she loves talking with adults. I think I stopped keeping track of the things she said at the age of 4. But I want to continue doing this with her and with my other two. Josiah is now 2 years old and he says the funniest and cutest things. So here I am Discovering the past and remembering to remember it!

Abby: age 2.5.

1.One day Abby was standing at my dresser putting on my make-up. My DH walks in and says "what are you doing"? my dd replies "I'm becoming a woman!"

2. I was teaching her the B-I-B-L-E song and she was singing it while she was playing by herself...."I stand alone, on my TIPPY TOES, the B-i-b-l-e"

3. The first time we took our boat out to the lake, Abby asked what the floating things in the water were. We told her they were buoy's. After that every time she would see one she would say "watch out for the boobies"

Abby: age 3

1. Abby never really watched sesame street, so she didn't really know the names of the characters (except Elmo) But her grandma gave her a bunch of sesame street books that use to be her daddy's when he was little. Well one night Abby's grandpa pointed to a character and asked "who's this" she replied "Big duck" (can you guess the right answer? Big Bird)

2. The second character he pointed and asked "who's this" she replied "Oscar the garbage" and of course you know the answer to that one :)

Abby: age 4

1. There was a missionaries daughter that came to visit our church. She was only 2 years old and her name is Victoria. But Abby kept calling her "Bacteria"

2. Miguel and I went on a married couples retreat. But Abby called it "treatment" She would say, "Did you have a good time at your treatment"?

3. The other day we went to go eat at Chile's, and as we were sitting there I pointed at a small beauty mark on Abby's arm. I said "Abby what is that"? and she said "ummmm.... I don't know... a nipple" I died laughing. She got so embarrassed!

4. One day after grooming our little male Yorkie. Abby was petting him and said " Oh mom, you did a great job. He looks like a little Chiualah" (she meant to say Chiuahua) She still calls it chiualah!

5. This is more sweet than anything. When we went for our U/S to find out if we were having a boy or a girl. The Tech asked Abby what she wanted. She replied " a little sister" Well it turned out we are having a little boy! We were so excited. But Abby was silent. Afterwards I went to use the bathroom and she came in with me and she said "mom, it's okay that we are having a boy. I'm just happy to have a brother" I was so proud of her!

6. Instead of asking "when's your due date" she asks "when's your dune date"

7. Abby and went for a Nature Scavenger Hunt and Abby asked me "Mom, are we going to find any little preachers"? I didn't know what she meant so I asked her what she was talking about. She said" you know like little animals with tails and stuff" "OOOOHHHLittle CREATURES!!!"

8.When Miguel was in front of the church congregation announcing that "someone did a number on our shed " Abby heard him. After church, she asked "Dad can I go see what number they wrote on the church shed"?

You may want to skip this post....

2011-01-20T23:40:00.000-05:00

Therapy time. Every once in a while I sit down at the computer and I have a strong urge to just gush all my emotions and thoughts onto the screen. Sometimes I will receive news about someones marriage, or I'll some how come across a blog or picture of someone that has hurt me and a flood of emotions come pouring over me. It is sudden, without warning. (like a flood, duh!)
I become overwhelmed with thoughts. I cry. I pray. I seek my Heavenly Father's love and comfort. I come here. I come here and vent. It helps me get things out and in perspective. It's my therapy.
So here it goes..
Why does satan have to work so hard at ruining marriages? Why are we such weak vessels? When are we going to fight back? When are we going to quite thinking about ourselves? When are we going to quit trying to fix our spouses and start trying to fix ourselves? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of satan winning. I am tired of broken relationships, between friends, between family members, between spouses. When will there be restoration and forgiveness? When will the love for each other return? We are all hurting. and so we think that that gives us the right to hurt others. Whether it is through anger or bitterness, separation or isolation. We take the pain inside and we pass it on ten fold to someone else or at the person that caused you pain. How in the world are we as Christians going to do anything for Christ? How are we suppose to serve Him and love Him when we can't even forgive? We are weakening the Christian Body of Christ by holding on to our pain, our pride, our bitterness and anger. I understand that the pain can be overwhelming. I understand that betrayal can cut so deep that you feel as if you will be walking with a open wound for the rest of your life. I know. I know the hurt. But before you can a broken bone can be healed, it must be reset first. It hurts, I know because I've seen it happen on TV :) Nothing heals immediately. Nothing is restored to the exact same way. But it doesn't mean that things can't be better. It doesn't mean that you can't be better. It doesn't mean that the depths of despair is the only place you can dwell.
I ache because there is someone that I love very much. Someone that has betrayed me in the worse way is no longer a part of my life. Not by my choosing but by their choosing. It doesn't seem fair to me. I am missing out on special things because she is no longer a part of my life. I ache. I'm angry. I feel rejected and betrayed all over again. But all I can do is pray for restoration. For healing. It's not in my control. I just wish satan would no longer have the victory.

One Word Capture: week 3

2011-01-18T18:51:00.000-05:00

Discovering my Kids!

Those of us that are Mother's realize and see our kids grow and change every single day. My Abby is going to be 7 years old this February. Josiah is 2.5 and Elliana just turned 1 in November! Everyday I see my kids discovering new things. Ellie has been trying to jump with both feet off the floor, I have also been teaching her facial features. Josiah, I have discovered, LOVES art. He loves to color and paint. He loves to play with play dough or blocks. I know a lot of 2 years old love these things, but with Josiah he is particular about how he holds his crayon. He WANTS to hold it the correct way and if he can't get it he will ask me for help. He loves to follow instructions. At the same time he is really trying to come into his own little person. He is trying to take control in what kind of food he wants to eat, or which movie he wants to watch. He is discovering that sometimes he will get his way, but Mommy always gets her way! Then there is my Abby, yes I know they are all mine, but Abby will always be my first child. She will always be the first to go through things with "new parents." Abby is discovering all sorts of things. She has discovered a love for math and science. She has discovered that it is easier and best to just say sorry and to quickly change her attitude rather than having mom change it for her!

I am discovering that if I want to know who I am as a mother I need to ask HER, so here it goes!

1. On a scale from 1-10 what number would you give your mom (10 being the best)?

Abby: 10

2. Are you scared of your mom?

Abby: NO

3.What is the funnest thing you do with your mom?

Abby: Play Kinnect

4. What do you think your mom could do to become a better mom?

Abby: Be her. "you're a better mom just how you are"

5.When do you NOT like your mom?

Abby: Sometimes when I get in trouble

6. What does your mom do that makes you frustrated?

Abby: Yells at me

7. If there was one thing you could do with just your mom what would it be?

Abby: getting our toes painted together

8.What is your mom really good at?

Abby: taking care of the kids.

9.What do you do that makes your mom the most angry?

Abby: disobey

10.What happens when you disobey?

Abby: I have to write my spelling list until my hand falls off.

11.What is something you have learned from your mom?

Abby: How to cook a little bit.

12.Who does your mom love the most?

Abby: my dad

13. Who does she have the most fun with?

Abby: she has really fun with my dad because I can't drive a car.

14. What is the best thing about your mom?

Abby: That she is good with kids

15. If there was thing about your mom that you could copy, what would it be?

Abby: her cooking.

and there it is folks :)

A Man's Design

2011-01-12T20:53:00.000-05:00

Here is my question: Is it in a boy's natural design to want to please his mother? Simply to make her happy and receive her approval? Is all of that instilled in them from the day they were born?
Allow me to take a minute to explain. My 2 year old son is a picky eater. He HATES veggie's, and he loves chicken most of the time, well if it comes through McDonalds drive thru he loves it. He use to love hamburger, rice and most pasta's. But it seems like lately I can't get it right. He loves spaghetti without any meat. He occasionally likes chicken nuggets. Once in a while he'll eat roast beef. But a lot of times he only takes one or two bites and then he is done. He's already skinny. I feel bad. As a mom it is comforting to know that your child is well fed. So since I am on a path of discovery, I wanted to discover a way to trick him into eating his veggie's. I thought to myself, he likes cheeseburgers, and he likes bagels (he's not a big tortilla or bread fan) I'll just puree some green beans and mix it into the meat. He'll never know! I begin making these burgers. mini burgers. I have never made burgers in my life. My husband usually makes them because he grills. But I wanted to give it a try. I mix everything together and I make mini patties, I put some cheese on top and then place the patty on the bagel. I tried the first one and DANG it was good. I was impressed with myself (LOL) I thought he is going to love this! He will probably eat all of this and ask for more! So I sit him down and we pray for the food, he picks up his bagel burger and takes a big bite...... he chews and chews.... he starts to make a face. "I don't like it mom" I tell him no you need to swallow that. He takes a big gulp of water and washes it down. I make him take another bite, he chews but this time he gags. "Are you kidding me? What do I need to do?" I am now so frustrated. I'm disappointed. I'm annoyed! He pushes it away and says "I don't like it mom. I don't like my sandwich." Fine. I wasn't gonna force him to eat it. I start wrapping it up. "My Ellie and Abby will eat it" and I sat back down and looked at him. "Josiah, Mommy is sad." I said to him. "No, I'm happy mom." he replies. "No, I'm sad. I'm sad because I made you a sandwich and you said I don't like it. You made me sad." "I do like it mom, I do like my sandwich." he replied "I want it. I want to eat it." So I pulled it back out of the fridge and gave it to him again. This time he picked it up and he ate it. No problem. He didn't gag at all. He didn't finish it but he ate over half! I looked at him and said "Josiah, I am so happy. You made Mommy so happy" and I could see on his face that making me happy made him even happier. Has he just been playing "battle of the wills" with me? Was he testing the limits all this time? Or does he love me that much that he would choke down a bagel burger just to make his mommy happy? Whatever it is, I don't want to lose that in him. I want him to always want to make Mommy happy, even as a teenager or young adult. I'm not saying I want him to always make decisions based on my happiness but I do want him to always have that desire in his heart. This must be how God feels when He knows that we as His children give up our own ways, our own will, and take on His desires, His ways. What a beautiful discovery!

One Word Captured: Week 2

2011-01-10T17:03:00.000-05:00

Discovering Good Times

One of the things I am trying to discover is fun projects or creative things for my 6 year old daughter to do. Abby is one of those kids that likes to be busy. She enjoys having projects and crafts. She loves learning and doing experiments. She is the ultimate hands on kind of gal *except when it comes to cleaning her room, but isn't that most kids?*

So I have decided that I want to discover some fun, hands on activities for my kids. Josiah who is 2 years old, loves playing and cutting up play dough. He loves to finger paint and glue. Even at two I can tell that he has a love for creating.

The picture above is something fun to do outside. You can use spray bottles for a different spray pattern, but I only have water bottles so that is what she used. First I used empty water bottles and filled it up with tap water, I added a few drops of food coloring to each bottle. I then shook it up, and poked a hole in the top of the bottle cap with a knife. *please be careful*

I told Abby to go outside in the snow and get creative. She loved it! I would have had Josiah do it too, but he has a cold. But Abby stayed outside for a while, being creative. It took her a few times to get the hang of it. Knowing when to squeeze the bottle harder for different effects. Blend colors on top of each other to create a new color. She had a great time discovering how to be creative in the snow!

One Word Captured: Week 1

2011-01-03T21:09:00.000-05:00

"What is One Little Word Captured?

Join me beginning in January for 52 weeks of a photographic interpretation of your word for 2011. A goal or intention. A deliberate approach. A way to share and encourage each other throught the year."

DISCOVERING what it means to get organized. This is something I have never been good at doing. I depend on my ingenious brain to just remember everything, but it seems as if my ingenious brain has been on hibernate mode. So This is my calendar. So far it isn't so busy, but I intend to put some meal ideas up there. This isn't the only area that I am trying to organize. I'm looking into buying a dresser and some storage shelfs for the kids room. Ikea is the key word here. We were living in a 1700 sq. ft. home and now we are in a cute little apartment, so I am discovering that organization is the key to sanity. I mentioned IKEA right? YES, well that goes along with my word DISCOVER, because I would love to discover great prices for all the items that I need to purchase :) I am honestly thinking about selling all of my bedroom furniture so I can just start over! I know i'm not the only one that gets into these moods or have these urges! ;) So I want to encourage those of you that know exactly what I am talking about. You have been saying for years that "this" just isn't who I am. Well don't accept that BS. Be better. Work harder and at least ATTEMPT to get organized. I promise you will feel good about yourself. In control of things. And everyone knows that we women like to have control! :) Good Discovering!

2011 word of the Year : DISCOVER

2011-01-03T16:05:00.000-05:00

DISCOVER

My husband and I were on a road trip to Ohio. He was talking (as usual :) and I was on my phone browsing FB. It was then that I was reminded that I needed to come up with my new word for 2011. Last year I chose the word progress, and I have to say that it was the perfect word for 2010. I made major progress in so many area's of my life. Even though at time's it felt as if I was going backwards, in reality I was only making progress. I was learning and growing.

So then I began thinking "what word do I want to have on my mind constantly through 2011" and I came up with a lot of good ones, but I didn't feel as if it was something I wanted to focus on. Then as quickly as I chose a word, I changed it. "Discover" I said out loud to my husband. "That is the word I want for 2011," he then asked why I chose DISCOVER, and here is the answer:

For those of you that follow my blog, you know that my life has changed in so many ways. The person I was, I am no longer. I went through a major separation in my marriage that nearly ended in a divorce. Relationships were severed and hearts (including my own) were crushed. I no longer am a Pastor's wife. I no longer live in a small town. I no longer am angry, instead I am healing. My views on religion and Christianity have changed. My relationship with my Heavenly Father is stronger and more real. But through all of this change there are some things that I am DISCOVERING to be different. I am DISCOVERING that after a storm, peace can come. I am DISCOVERING that there is a system and a better way to getting things accomplished. I am DISCOVERING what is truly important to me. I am DISCOVERING what it means to be happy. And though I have already DISCOVERED so much, I know that there is still much to DISCOVER. About Parenting, about Christianity, about happiness, and about LOVE. I hope through my DISCOVERIES, I can help you to DISCOVER a few things of your own! <3

Reset

2010-12-27T19:14:00.000-05:00

Hi my dearest Blog, I'm sorry it has been so long since I have sat and talked to you. Between Thanksgiving and Christmas things get a little hectic and crazy. But now that those holidays have passed, it is on to the New Year. Yes it is a new year but does anything really change? I wish it were true. I wish it was like setting a reset button and you get a fresh start at everything. All the debt disappears, all the mistakes erased and all the pain has dissolved. But we all know that that just isn't how it works. Nothing is that simple. Nothing is that easy. Nothing except the blood of Jesus! He's the only one that can reset that button. He is the only one that has paid our debt and He is the only one that can take away the pain. And He does it all for free :) The best part is that you don't have to wait for the New Year to begin in order for this to happen. God's love, grace and forgiveness is available around the clock. He is available around the clock. I know most of us already know this. at least with our head. But if we really knew it with our hearts we would go to Him more often. We would trust Him with more than just our complaints.
There are things in my life that I struggle with, right now I feel like anger and bitterness is right at my heels and at the first opportunity it tries to creep in and it tries to strangle me. I fight it constantly. I try to stay humble and remember that I am no better than anyone. Because of that I have no right to hold on to any kind of anger. But I struggle. It's hard. Especially when the people that love you are the people that cause you the worse kind of pain. I am learning more and more that we as people are all pretty much the same. We look at someone else and say " tisk tisk tisk, what a horrible person. I can't believe that they would do that or think that way" not knowing that they themselves possess that same flaw. I don't care WHO you are, you are not better than me. And I am not better than you. :sigh: It's really all about pride. Doesn't the Bible say that Pride is the root of all sin? So maybe if I just work on that one thing, being humble. Then it will help me with all of my other sins? Maybe it would help me to forgive more. Maybe it will help me to love more? I do know that if I try to be humble and stay humble I will trust in Him more. and Oh how I need Him. "I need you God" "I need you when things are good and when things are bad. I need you when I happy and when I am sad. I need you all the time. Please come hold my hand dear Father. Stay by my side. Help me to stay humble. Help me to remember that I have no place to judge or to be angry with anyone else. No matter how dumb I think they are. We are all on a journey. I just ask Father that you will stay with me on mine. Better yet, I will stay with you on yours. I love you Father. I need you. I praise you." Love Esther the Pester :)

November: Gratitude Month (13) Flannels

2010-11-13T17:16:00.000-05:00

Moving from the desert to winter wonderland has definitely made an impact on my wardrobe! LOL You see, it got cold in New Mexico, but it was different. It was usually cold in the morning and then at night.(basically when the sun wasn't shining) In the middle of the afternoon it was nice to go out with a light jacket or heavy sweater. But HERE in Michigan it is a whole different climate. The sun is out but there isn't any warmth, and when the wind blows it blows the chill right through your clothes. It might sound as if I am complaining, but I'm not. Thanks to a beautiful fashion trend call the "flannel" I now have about 4 flannels and I just love them. I love how comfy and cozy, they fit tight enough to know I'm not a boy but loose enough to not see my chub :) They're just nice. I own a few things in my closet that I call my security items. Those things are my scarves, my sexy high heels and now my flannels. I love knowing that I can still be comfortable without being frumpy. If you don't own at least one, I suggest you go out and buy one. Shoot, even my Pajama's are flannel :)

November: Gratitude Month (12) GPS

2010-11-12T22:05:00.000-05:00

Man, do I really stink at directions. Seriously I am one of those people that can get turned around so easily but it's even worse at night. That's why I'm thankful for my GPS. It offers me security. I may not know which path it's going to lead me down, but I know it will get me to my final destination. Kind of like following God's will for your life. You don't know what path it's going to lead you down, you don't know if there will be detours and you don't know if there will be potholes in the road, but if you just keep pressing on, if you just keep following His directions He will ultimately bring you to His final destination for your life.

November: Gratitude Month (11) processed foods.

2010-11-11T18:02:00.000-05:00

I know that there are moms out there that create every meal from scratch. They work hard and they prepare ahead of time to put a meal on the table that contains one of every food group. I am NOT that mom. I love the idea of being someone like that, but it's just not who I am. (and yes I know that is by choice) But seriously, I do enjoy a nice home made meal but there are times (like maybe once a day) when I like to pull a little Totino's pizza out of the fridge and pop it in the oven for lunch. I enjoy those little puffed things with cheese and pepperoni and pizza sauce inside, oh yes they are called Pizza rolls. My favorite are the little microwavable burritos. I admire moms that cook healthy for their children, I think they are amazing. For myself, I am thankful for things that make my life a little easier. Honestly I have a hard time cooking for myself and for my kids because they are picky a lot of the times. Joey will pick things out of his food constantly and Abby takes a few bites and then she is done. I never know how things are gonna turn out with them. So I prefer to not work as hard and make something premade or simple because then I don't get as upset and irritated that they did not finish or sometimes even eat their food. Just to clarify. I do cook. I am learning how to make more and more things (thanks to my wonderful SIL Kim) but I do it when everyone is going to sit at the table and eat it. (about once a day.) So my gratitude for today is processed or premade food. It just makes life a little easier!

November: Gratitude Month (5--10) catch up / reflection

2010-11-10T21:13:00.000-05:00

I feel guilty because I haven't been blogging about the things I am thankful for, but don't think for a second that just because I don't blog about it doesn't mean there aren't things for which I am thankful.

Before I started blogging, I began wondering "what was happening in my life about this time last year or even the year before that"? So thanks to blogging I was able to go back and read about the events taking place in my life. Of course I knew that this time last year I was pregnant, but one of the things I blogged about was my belly cast. I was 37 weeks pregnant and being that Ellie was going to be my last pregnancy I wanted to make something that would allow me to remember how big I was and how much I enjoyed and loved being pregnant. So we made a belly cast. I had plans of sanding it down and turning it into a decoupage but that has yet to happen. Maybe I will make it a goal to get it done by the end of this year :) In 2009, my son Josiah was just 5 months old and I was doing the gratitude posts. One of the things I put was a picture of Josiah and his chubby cheeks, he was drooling like a faucet and his shirt was soaked. I put underneath "I am thankful for children's Motrin." I laughed because well to see his bald head and chubby cheeks I had forgotten how little and sweet he was as a baby. He is now 2 years old and teething has come and gone. Now we are in the process of potty training. Boy how time flies! I was also thankful that I could be a blessing to my friend Paloma. At the time she had a little baby and I sent her some Avent bottles. It was a blessing to her and a blessing for me. Who am I being a blessing to these days? I hope through my blog and through my life I am being a blessing to those that are struggling in similar ways. Or maybe I am able to simply encourage them. Another thing I was thankful for was "the small things in life." I am still so thankful for those small things. Being able to buy warm scarves and candles that make my home feel welcoming and peaceful. I even was thankful that Sam's Club improved their toilet paper! LOL Little did I know that 2 years from then would I be taking a survey on Toilet Paper for Sam's club (I guess they picked the right person huh?) :)

Wow, my life has been full of so much joy. I think with all that I have been through in these last 5 to 6 months I had forgotten that my marriage, my home life wasn't all horrible and bad dreams. I was blessed then, and I am blessed now. Even more so than then. At that time I had no idea what heartaches were awaiting for me in the future. I had no idea that my world would be flipped and that my marriage would be almost destroyed. I had struggles and challenges back then but I got through them and I'm getting through them now as well.

So what is it this time that I am thankful for? I need 5 things to CATCH UP !

5. I am thankful for good memories. Happy memories.

6. I am thankful that I am NOT pregnant this year (two years in a row is enough)

7. I am thankful for the opportunity to blog and be able to reflect on past blessings and memories.

8. I am still thankful for Children's motrin!

9. I am thankful for Life and all it has to offer. Good and Bad. Without the bad, the other one just wouldn't be as sweet. And without the good, life would just be hell.

10. I am thankful for Perseverance. That I able to press on. and the source's from where I draw my strength. (God, family and friends)

November: Gratitude Month (4) Laughter

2010-11-04T13:51:00.000-04:00

This is something that I can't get enough of, Laughter. I love anything or anyone that can crack me up. To me this is a gift. Both to give and to receive. I have a few people in my life that I go to when I am down. (which really isn't that often) The first person I go to is my little sister Deborah. This girl is a riot. I love hanging out with her, even if it is in her bedroom at 1a.m. ! We could be doing absolutely nothing and I can bet my bottom dollar that we will be in tears because we're laughing so hard. It's one of her many talents. Granted I am laughing AT her most of the time, but that's okay because she laughs right along. She has been a source of strength for me when I was struggling with so much in my life. In this time she became my best friend. I miss her on a daily basis. I wish everyone in the world had a friend like her because their world would be a lot funnier!
The other person that makes me laugh is a very close friend of mine that I grew up with, his name is Terry. Some of you that read my blog know of Mr. Peek because he will comment on your comment on my facebook. When things were tough and I thought it was impossible to laugh, he did it. Really it was about the dumbest things. But he did it. I hadn't talked to him since High School, so when we finally did get in contact , it was as if time never skipped a beat. When I look back, Terry was the one that kept me from sinking into a black hole. I will always and forever be thankful for his friendship.
Then of course there are my kids. Who can make me smile better than my kids? The questions they'd ask, the words that they'd say... just their way of thinking. Even when they are bad and I'm suppose to be discipling them I find myself holding that chuckle inside.
My last resort for laughter, Movies!! I love a good romance comedy or just a comedy. The Office is one of my favorite TV shows. I'll find myself laughing out loud and it just feels good.
So yes, I am thankful for laughter. I am thankful for the ones that make me laugh and the things that make me laugh. My friends, my family and stupid people, because what else can you do but laugh at them?

November : The Month of Gratitude(3) God's Love and Transformation

2010-11-03T10:22:00.000-04:00

Transformers : More than meets the eye!
Well this isn't exactly what I am thankful for, but I am thankful for transformation. My friend Amy left a comment on my previous post and it got me thinking about where I was and where I am in life. Even when I think about my whole life journey as a rebel teen to a Pastor's wife to simply who I am today. Over the years of my life there has been some serious transformation. I can look back and see how God has transformed me, how he has changed me, changed my heart. The beautiful thing is that He isn't finished. In fact, I am learning more about myself and my relationship with God now than I ever have before. I have learned that LOVE truly is the foundation for being a great and genuine Christian. "and the greatest of these is LOVE" God's love is what transform's us. His love is what reconciled our sins. His love. It's such a precious thing. God's love is what transforms our hearts to love others. To love those that are difficult to love and to love our vilest enemy. God's love transforms. I wish more Christians understood this. I wish they would recognize it. If they did they would not judge, they would not condemn, they would not be stagnant.
The other reason I am thankful for transformation is because it offers hope. You see, right now my marriage is broken. We are working on putting things back together ( I purposely chose not to you the word restore). The reason I didn't say we are working on restoring our marriage is because I don't want it restored to what it used to be. I want our marriage to be transformed into something precious and beautiful. A bond so strong that nothing and nobody can break it. I want our marriage to be something that pleases God and brings HIM glory. I want our marriage to be fun, passionate, honest and unshakable. I want a marriage that my kids can grow up thinking "I want one just like my mom and dad". In order for me to have this kind of marriage, I need God to transform the broken marriage that I have now into this more solid and secure marriage. And with God's Love and our determination to put each other first we can have a transformed marriage. I beleive this with my whole heart and i'm counting on it!

November : The Month of Gratitude 1&2

2010-11-02T12:39:00.000-04:00

Every year I have tried to write a post each day about the things I am thankful for and that is what I am going to do again, this November. I know that some people have a difficult time finding things to be thankful for when they are in the middle of a storm in their life, but I want to encourage you to try. To search for even the smallest things in life to be grateful for. Right now I am in the process of moving out of my Brother and SIL's house, and into a 2 bedroom apartment with Miguel. I have been praying and thinking about this decision for a while now. I have seen a good change in Miguel, but at the same time I have seen a change in myself. While he has become more understanding and patient, I have become more defensive and on edge. But I am trying and working on the things in my life that have made me this way. I am choosing to "pursue Christ" and I am praying that God will give me the strength and courage to put on the 1 Cor 13 kind of Love. I know that it is already available, I just need to choose to put it on. That brings me to the first thing I am thankful for: My Heavenly Father. I could say His other names : Saviour, God, Almighty, King of Kings etc... but I choose Heavenly Father because that's exactly how I see Him. He has strengthen my heart and held my hand during the hardest days of my life. He loves me through my sin and encourages me when I don't want to wake up.He gave me hope. He always listens and understands. He loves me. He protects me. He has given me eternal life. There is just so much to be thankful for when it comes to my Heavenly Father.
The second thing I am thankful for is my Brother and his family. When I was lost and broken, my brother welcomed me and my family into their house. My sister, Kim, loved me and supported me ( and cooked and baked and made me fat :) Her kids shared and played with my kids. They gave us security, protection, a home, a family, a routine and guidance. I could never repay them. I could never say how thankful I am for them. I just know that I wouldn't be were I am without them. They have helped me laugh, they have helped me heal and they have helped me become a better mother, friend, sister and Christian. They have loved my kids like they were their own. It has been such a blessing and special time together. I feel like they're my Mama Bird and they're setting me out on my own to fly. I love them with all of my heart and I am so thankful for them!

A hot cup of pumpkin spice latte on cold rainy day

2010-10-20T16:19:00.000-04:00

So really this post doesn't have a lot to do with Pumpkin Spice Latte's but more so the feeling of having a a HOT CUP OF PUMPKIN SPICE LATTE ON A COLD RAINY DAY.
There are times in life when things are just chaotic. No matter how hard you try to keep things organized or keep control of it all, it just spins out of control.Nothing goes as you planned.
Or maybe something happens in the day when it causes your heart to ache just a little. Maybe your feelings are hurt or you read something that hurts you, and the one thing you need is something nice and hot to warm your soul. Does that make sense? Sometimes all you need is something small to put that smile back on your face.
For me it's receiving a snotty nose kiss from my little boy. Or a giant hug from my big girl. Or the twinkle I see in my little babies eyes as she gives me her biggest smile. These are some things that changes the condition of my heart, the expression on my face. I love getting a nice hot cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte but nothing warms my soul, like my children and their love.
HOWEVER nothing throws my day off more than my children either. Telling my 6 year old to focus on her school work, sit right in your chair, get that out of your mouth, 20 times within 30 minutes can be aggravating. When Joey decides to cry at every little thing or freaks out whenever his cousins do something that HE doesn't like can ruffle my feathers just a little. And then there is dear sweet Ellie. She is great. Except she is mobile and loves to get into everything and put everything in her mouth. I know she's a baby but it's just one more thing that can make things spin out of control.
(One more however) HOWEVER, I need to be more resilient. I can't let these minor things throw my day into a whirl wind. I know there will always be days when I want to jump out the window, but you know what? That's okay, because who doesn't have those days? I think I would also like to remember that I can affect the kind of day that my children are going to have. If I want them to learn how to be in control of their emotions then I need to learn how to be in control of mine. Easier said than done, I know. But I have to keep it in mind and I have to keep working at it. And while I keep at it, could someone please bring me a Hot cup of Pumpkin Spice Latte? :)

Marco! POLO!

2010-09-21T16:43:00.000-04:00

Sometimes this is what I feel like life is! We are blind folded and we are yelling at life "Marco" and we wait for it to respond "Polo" and then we go after it. Blindly. With our arms stretched out in front of us, splashing around in a vast body of water Just searching and hoping we can get a grasp on it. We sometimes get confused as to which direction to go in because well... Life is not stagnant. Life is not going to just stand there and wait for you to grab it by the (cough) balls. You have to pursue it, you have to chase it, you have to listen and plan for it. Think about it, from the time our children are born, we start teaching them, training them and preparing them for this thing we called life. Why? Because if you want to survive you have to be prepared, you have to be ready. Which leads me to my purpose for writing this post...
I think we can all agree that life throws curve balls, it is always changing and changing us. You know, when I was a Pastor's wife I use to teach my Ladies certain things. Things on marriage, things on "what it takes to grow as a Christian" things that I believed with my whole heart. But since my life has changed and since I have seen a different side to life, I no longer believe SOME of those things. My views have changed because of the things I've experienced. Life has changed me and still is changing me. That doesn't mean I didn't believe in the things I taught before because I did. It just means that I am growing, learning and reaching out splashing around in the water and trying to get a hold on what my life is going to consist of. I know what I want for my kids, I know how I wish things were different and I know there are things now that I wish I could change but I can only do so much. I can only yell "Marco", wait (which is a big part right now), Listen for the right direction and then pursue. Be dependent on the tools that I have to get me where I want to be.