Choosing Joy - When you are wrong

Red #2


There are times when you as a parent need to get off your high horse and admit to your child that YOU were wrong and that YOU are sorry. There have been times when I am not as patient with Abby and I raise my voice (which dh hates) because she acts as if she can't comprehend the words coming out of my mouth. For example : I told Abby to pick up her clothes off the floor and put them into her laundry basket. She looked at me and said " what do you mean" I replied "pick up your clothes that is on the floor and put them in your dirty laundry basket." Again she replied " I don't know what you mean" not to mention she was sitting on the floor right by her dirty clothes and her laundry basket, but she was just looking at me and telling me she didn't understand. Now, my daughter is no dummy. There wasn't anything in my sentence that should've stumped her. So out of frustration I yelled "pick up the clothes that is right next to you and stick it in the basket that is in front of you. What do you NOT understand?" My dh who was in the room next door heard me and said "honey, you need to be more patient with her. Sometimes I feel like you talk to rough with her and maybe she just doesn't understand" I, of course, am looking at him like "are you serious"? and I have to admit, I was a little bugged. But you know what, my dh was right. There is no need for me to raise my voice with her. I could have handled it differently. I could have took the time to show her exactly what I meant. I don't know for sure is she was just trying to push my buttons or if she really didn't understand (i still have my doubts) but as a parent, I need to teach my kids how to handle themselves. When my daughter grows up, do I want her to just yell at some person because they don't "understand" what she is saying? I was not showing her patience. I was not teaching her patience. Instead I was teaching her that when you are frustrated with something or someone, to just yell and throw a fit. So what did I need to do? As a parent I was wrong. Was she wrong for maybe "lying" and saying she didn't understand me? or did she really mean what she said? I don't know. But regardless, had I shown her what to do, she would no longer have the excuse of "I don't understand"
So I went to my husband first and I apologized and told him that he was right. I need to try to be more patient and more gentle with how I speak to her. *after all I don't appreciate it when ANYONE raises their voice at me, for whatever the reason!
Then I went to Abby and I apologized. I told her that I wasn't being very patient with her and I should have shown her what to do instead of repeating myself and then yelling.
I am choosing Joy in knowing that as a parent we have the opportunity to humble ourselves before our children and in doing so you are teaching them that no body above apologizing. You are also showing them that you love them enough to apologize and you are instilling character in them.