Seperation makes the heart grown fonder.....

NOT! Okay so a ton of drama has been going on in my life. I feel like I'm starring in my very own Grey's Anatomy (well without the surgery's and medical parts hahaha) Episode. Things have happened that has cause a seperation between me and my husband. No, i'm not going into details but just so you know, it's not my fault :) But that is where things are in my life. I am living with my big brother, his wife and thier 4 kids. Add me and my 3 in the mix, you now have 7 kids total (ages 7 and under) Can you scream Caos??? no, it's not really that bad (maybe i should have said my life feels like John & Kate plus 8 LOL). For the first 3 days I have cried and cried, after that I put on my big girl panties and threw away the tissues. I've accepted the fact that this is where I am in life. I never thought I would be standing in this place on the verge of divorce. I never thought I would have my heart shattered into a million pieces. I never thought I would have to make plans on when my Husband could visit and spend time with our kids. It's a strange place to be in, a place that is making me stronger. I fear the future. I fear the idea of being a single mom. I fear being independant and alone. I am so thankful for my Big Brother and his wife for taking us in and caring for our needs. I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father that is holding us in the palm of His righteous right hand. In the mean time my whole focus and desire are my kids. Making sure that thier world doesn't crumble around them. My Abby is very smart and picks up on the slightest bit of tension. So I'm trying to keep things as normal as possible. Keeping things as civil as possible.