Sometimes this is what I feel like life is! We are blind folded and we are yelling at life "Marco" and we wait for it to respond "Polo" and then we go after it. Blindly. With our arms stretched out in front of us, splashing around in a vast body of water Just searching and hoping we can get a grasp on it. We sometimes get confused as to which direction to go in because well... Life is not stagnant. Life is not going to just stand there and wait for you to grab it by the (cough) balls. You have to pursue it, you have to chase it, you have to listen and plan for it. Think about it, from the time our children are born, we start teaching them, training them and preparing them for this thing we called life. Why? Because if you want to survive you have to be prepared, you have to be ready. Which leads me to my purpose for writing this post...
I think we can all agree that life throws curve balls, it is always changing and changing us. You know, when I was a Pastor's wife I use to teach my Ladies certain things. Things on marriage, things on "what it takes to grow as a Christian" things that I believed with my whole heart. But since my life has changed and since I have seen a different side to life, I no longer believe SOME of those things. My views have changed because of the things I've experienced. Life has changed me and still is changing me. That doesn't mean I didn't believe in the things I taught before because I did. It just means that I am growing, learning and reaching out splashing around in the water and trying to get a hold on what my life is going to consist of. I know what I want for my kids, I know how I wish things were different and I know there are things now that I wish I could change but I can only do so much. I can only yell "Marco", wait (which is a big part right now), Listen for the right direction and then pursue. Be dependent on the tools that I have to get me where I want to be.
3 comments:
I found that I had a much better chance at actually heading in the right directions when I stopped yelling Marco. That is, when I found my own (inner) peace, I could hear the faintest of giggles and most minute bit of sloshing water. While listening for those sounds, I found myself moving to face different directions but always paused, assessing and confirming, before actually making the mad dash to triumph. Even then, we sometimes miss, but it is the difficulty that makes winning so sweet! Every one would get bored if it were simple. (I know, I know... I could really go for some boredom right about now.)
That being said, ironically, it amazing me at how I can know something, have a tried and true method, yet I still find myself splashing around like an idiot yelling Marco... All we can do is make sure we are surrounded by friends. And always, always remember... never play Marco Polo in the ocean! ;)
I so understand what you are saying about being in one place in your life and having these "firm beliefs" that you pass on to others... only to have some if not all of those firm beliefs dashed away by life experiences. God molds and sharpens us by our heartbreaks; I know this to be a fact.
God also uses each of these stages in our lives to reach different people. You reached a lot of women then, and you can feel confident about what the Lord had you doing *then*. The Lord is still using you, and as long as you still cling to *Truth* then you can still have confidence in what you pass on. God is always using us; and sometimes whether or not we *want* Him to. ;)
I'm proud of you, Esther. It would be so easy for you to rebell right now, be angry with the Lord, and turn your back on Him for what your family has gone through... but you haven't done that. Life is so hard. Love is even harder. I'm still praying for you... your family... your husband... and your kiddos. Love ya gal!
Esther, you are the strongest woman I know. I am so lucky to have you as a friend, my best friend. You are surrounded by many people who love you and will be here for you through these rough times. Things will get better for you in time and you will be happy again. Thank you for being such a good friend. I am a better person because of you.
Post a Comment