You may want to skip this post....

Therapy time. Every once in a while I sit down at the computer and I have a strong urge to just gush all my emotions and thoughts onto the screen. Sometimes I will receive news about someones marriage, or I'll some how come across a blog or picture of someone that has hurt me and a flood of emotions come pouring over me. It is sudden, without warning. (like a flood, duh!)
I become overwhelmed with thoughts. I cry. I pray. I seek my Heavenly Father's love and comfort. I come here. I come here and vent. It helps me get things out and in perspective. It's my therapy.
So here it goes..
Why does satan have to work so hard at ruining marriages? Why are we such weak vessels? When are we going to fight back? When are we going to quite thinking about ourselves? When are we going to quit trying to fix our spouses and start trying to fix ourselves? I'm sick of it. I'm sick of satan winning. I am tired of broken relationships, between friends, between family members, between spouses. When will there be restoration and forgiveness? When will the love for each other return? We are all hurting. and so we think that that gives us the right to hurt others. Whether it is through anger or bitterness, separation or isolation. We take the pain inside and we pass it on ten fold to someone else or at the person that caused you pain. How in the world are we as Christians going to do anything for Christ? How are we suppose to serve Him and love Him when we can't even forgive? We are weakening the Christian Body of Christ by holding on to our pain, our pride, our bitterness and anger. I understand that the pain can be overwhelming. I understand that betrayal can cut so deep that you feel as if you will be walking with a open wound for the rest of your life. I know. I know the hurt. But before you can a broken bone can be healed, it must be reset first. It hurts, I know because I've seen it happen on TV :) Nothing heals immediately. Nothing is restored to the exact same way. But it doesn't mean that things can't be better. It doesn't mean that you can't be better. It doesn't mean that the depths of despair is the only place you can dwell.
I ache because there is someone that  I love very much. Someone that has betrayed me in the worse way is no longer a part of my life. Not by my choosing but by their choosing. It doesn't seem fair to me. I am missing out on special things because she is no longer a part of my life. I ache. I'm angry. I feel rejected and betrayed all over again. But all I can do is pray for restoration. For healing. It's not in my control. I just wish satan would no longer have the victory.