Pandora is playing on my computer. Listening to Laura Story and some other Christian artist. :sigh: I've stopped by my blog several times to sit and post something but nothing would come. I have so many thoughts that go through my mind. I think about so many of my friends and the things they're going through right now. I think about the things i'm learning in church and conversations I've shared with my Brother and my Husband about Sin. But when I sit to write, I can't focus. I was looking at some pictures on my little sister's FB wall and came across some photos that made my heart ache. You know, sometimes you go through things and you heal from it. You forgive, you press on but there is a scar. Eventually most scars heal, the redness and swelling may fade and it then becomes a silver line. Then you have scars that just get worse. I think of burned victims and how their scars just tighten, they always hurt. Maybe not as bad as when their injury first took place, but its a different pain. What if my scars never heal? What if the pain just stays with me and I only have moments of relief? Sometimes I just wish I had a magic wand. Turn back time and prevent hurt from happening. But what then? Would I miss out on all the wonderful blessings I've encountered because of the trial, the journey that I have been traveling? The song that I was listening to is called "Blessings" by Laura Story. The chorus says this:
Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops
What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise
What if? What if all the heart ache ALL of it was God being merciful? Preventing something that was detrimental? Something that was broken so bad it could not be repaired? Would I still trade in my scars for a do over? Would I turn back time and change the awful events that took place? No. Because though I may have scars on my heart, and though the pain comes and goes, my heart now beats stronger. It has grown to love more, it holds more compassion for others. But more than that, it is a reminder to me that God is holding it in His hands. Because without Him, the scars would not exist. The only thing existing would be the remnants of a shattered heart, constant pain and damage irreversible. So today I am praising God for the rain, the storms and the trials of this life because they just might be mercies in disguise.
4 comments:
Beautiful, brave post. Those are beautiful scars now. I can't believe how far you've come. You are amazing and strong. You are God's beloved my little sister. You are tender hearted and kind. I love you.
:)
I love that song so much... and I think of you so often and I'm just amazed how God has already healed and touched you! You're an inspiration...
Beautiful! The scars heal with time and effort but the mark will always be there. Sometimes it reminds us of the original pain though gone, can't be forgotten. Sometimes seeing the scar can make the pain feel real again and other times it is a sweet reminder of the pure awesomeness of Gods miraculous healing and the miracle of forgiveness. I often think about those that choose the path of unforgiveness and though I understand why one would choose that path I am saddened that they will never know beauty beyond the pain. Beautiful post.
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