Simple Womans Daybook #3

Outside my window...It is overcast and rainy. Fall is here and the beautiful leaves have begun changing. The other day when I was teaching my 3 year old son about colors I asked him what color were the leaves on the ground (brown) instead he replied "colorful." 

I am thinking...About God's love, and what does it really mean to be a Christian. In church this past sunday our Pastor was preaching from 1 John and talking about how if we have the love of God in us, we should love one another and also keep His commandments. How many of us truly love God? How many of us WANT to obey and follow His commandments? 

I am thankful...For Godly music. There are some songs that renew my spirit when I hear them and sing them. I lift my hands by Chris Tomlin, Blessings by Laura Story, Praise you in the Storm, Bring on the Rain. Just as I am, It is well with my soul, Refiners Fire. and there are so many others. Christian music is important to me, it reminds me to keep my focus on Christ and not on the hurt and the burdens around me.

From the play room...Toys clutter the floor. A good sign that the kids have been having fun. Sometimes I get irritated that they have messed up the room again, and I'll start yelling for everyone to help clean up. And sometimes my oldest who is 7 will say "mom, it's okay, just let them enjoy life." Obviously she isn't the one having to clean the mess, but she is right. I need to remember to relax more and let things go a bit. Allow my kids to have fun and enjoy life :)

In the kitchen...The coffee pot is now empty. I'm finishing up my morning cup. There are a few things on the counter and dishes in the sink. I have yet to decide what we will be having for lunch. Whatever I come with I'm sure it will be sufficient :)


 I am wearing...My blue and lime green Aero sweats and hoody.


I am creating...Change in my life right now. It's time for me to evaluate where I am as a wife, as a mother, as a daughter of Christ. I want to be the best at each and I want to have the closest relationship with my husband, my kids and my Heavenly Father. In order to do that change needs to take place.

I am wondering... What the other ladies that are doing the 1 John Bible study thought about the devotion/verses they read.

I am reading...Forbidden by Ted Dekker. I love his books. This one is a bit confusing at first but the more I read it the more I understand.

I am hoping...To get my run in today. I didn't exercise over the weekend and it's time to get back on the tread mill!

I am looking forward to... A sunny fall day so I can pull out my camera and take some shots of my kids.

I am hearing...Elmo on the tv and Mercy me on the computer singing Here with me

Around the house... I have laundry to put away. The house always gets out of hand over the weekend. I think we all like to just be lazy, and then Monday comes around and it's time to clean up!  


One of my favorite things today... will be pulling out my fall/winter clothes. I always look forward to pulling out my clothes, it's almost as fun as going shopping because often I forget what clothes I've packed away and they feel new when I pull them out again :)

A few plans for the rest of the week: I have an appointment on friday, and I might go on a few playdates this week but I don't know.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing.. Last week I mentioned that Abby was student of the week and we were able to visit her in her at school. The other kids asked questions about Abby and we got to tell a couple of stories about her. She loved all of it! and so did we :)

1 John

This is my notebook for the 1 John Bible study that I am doing with my sister and some other ladies online. I wanted to add a little fun to m simple notebook so I took whatever was lying around the house and played with it. I have to say that i love the sloppiness of the paint LOL it's not perfect, it's not clean, it's very carefree and I think it represents my life well. I am looking forward to this study.

Simple Womans Daybook #2

Outside my window...It is so sunny. It's cool outside but is suppose to warm up to 81* today.

I am thinking...About so many different things. My family is enduring some difficult things right now.  

I am thankful...For my husband. He has been a rock for me and a constant support of encouragement and love. I couldn't imagine my life without him.

From the play room...The kids are watching Dora. My 3 year old and my almost 2 year old was playing Connect Four. Of course not the correct way but Josiah was counting each one he put in and Ellie was working on actually getting them in. I love that they play so well together.

In the kitchen...Again I have dishes in the sink, but not the same ones from my previous post :) My husband generally does the dishes for me and cleans up the kitchen but instead we opted to watch a movie together and said the dishes could wait.


 I am wearing...My husband white t-shirt and a black bubble skirt. In other words lounge wear.


I am creating...A paint pallete for my living room. Trying to decide what colors I want in here. Everything is black and white with just a little red and I think I want the walls to be a Teal Aqua and white.

I am wondering... If Abby is having a good day at school. Last week she was chosen for Student of the Week. So for 15 min each day she gets to talk about her interests. Today she brought in some glass jewelry we made together and she is going to talk about that.

I am reading...The Love Dare. My husband and I read this every night together before bed.

I am hoping...That the kids will go down for a nice long nap. That way I can exercise and clean up AND get lunch ready. Today my Big Brother is coming over for lunch.

I am looking forward to... Picking up Abby from School so I can hear all about her day. After homeschooling her for 3 years, I've missed having her around during the day.

I am hearing...The TV. Bubble Guppies is on.

Around the house... Things are a little out of sorts, but it should only take about 30 mins to pick up and vacuum. At this moment Ellie is trying to do a balancing act on the edge of the fireplace. This little girl has no fear.  


One of my favorite things today.... Is knowing that I have a family to spend it with. I miss my siblings and their families. And with all that we have been going through, I am just thankful for each day that I have with my own family.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I am going to Abby's school tomorrow to be interviewed by Abby's classmates. The kids and I will get to stay for lunch with her. and then on Fri. I have an appointment.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing..

This is Abby . Student of the Week. She is so excited to share her likes and dislikes with her classmates! I'm so proud of this little girl!

From Homeschool to Public School!

I didn't CRY!!!! LOL I totally thought I would cry when my little girl, I mean big girl, put on her hello kitty back pack and walked out to the car with her dad. She was walking away from the only schooling she knew. For 3 years I have homeschooled my daughter. I have a love/hate relationship with homeschooling. I'm not the most patient person and Abby was the type that wanted you to sit by her side and watch her do her work.  Which was fine when she was the only child but since I now have two little ones to take care of I could no longer just sit with her. It was always a struggle to balance her homeschooling, taking care of the little ones and cook before my husband came home for lunch. We had our good days and we had our bad days. Abby is such a perfectionist. She can't stand for things to look sloppy but at the same time she wants to hurry and get done. She easily gets distracted because we have the t.v. going or the kids are wanting help with something. I would have to constantly get on her. I felt like our relationship was being stunted because of homeshooling. Are we close as mother and daughter? Yes, very close. But I don't want Abby hating school because she loves learning. I didn't want to be annoyed with her because she wants to do something with me after school was over with, "I just sat with you all morning, teaching you, helping you. No I don't want to do something together." Sounds awful right? But that's how it is. I have a lot of respect for mothers that can not just homeschool but be patient and loving and consistent with it.  In addition, a mother that homeschools and still participates and interact with their kids. I also had a lot of guilt because while I was devoting so much attention to teaching Abby, I was ignoring Ellie and Joey. I would send Joey to watch tv, and I would put Ellie to bed 2 hours after she woke up. I feel like one of the reasons Abby is so bright, is because when she was her siblings age, we did everything together. We had fun, we explored! I want that same interaction for my two little ones. So while Abby is at school I am going to focus on playing and teaching my two little ones. What I am most excited about is when Abby comes HOME from school! I want to hear all about her day. I want to know what she learned and I want to help her with her homework. I will be volunteering every other Friday in her class. I think Abby is going to love school. She is going to make good friends, and be challenged by other students academically! I'm just so excited for her. I'm praying it will be a great year for her.

Simple Womans Daybook #1

Outside my window...It is crisp and cold. The wind is blowing and you can't feel any humidity.

I am thinking...About my oldest daughter, Abigail. She is starting second grade tomorrow and it is her first time going to a public school. I am praying for her.

I am thankful...That my husband gets to work overtime. Today is a holiday so he got holiday pay plus overtime. 

From the learning rooms... Getting papers and books ready for Abbys backpack. Also printing things out to do with my 3 and almost 2 year old.

In the kitchen...Coffee sit in the maker, keeping it warm until I get a chance to make a cup. A few dishes are in the sink and the sun is shining through the window. 
                                                
 I am wearing...my exercise clothes, getting ready to run on the treadmill. 


I am creating...Room in our garage. We still haven't unpacked everything since moving here in April.I am going...to a meeting with the town Mayor.

I am wondering...About some friends that are struggling in the marriage. I've been praying for them constantly.

I am reading...Green by Ted Dekker. It is the newest book of the Circle Trilogy.

I am hoping...That Abby will do well in school. That she will make good friends and enjoy her teacher.

I am looking forward to...Spending time with my two little ones. Since I'm not homeschooling Abby I will have time to devote to them.

I am hearing...The sound of the TV. Miguel is playing his new Madden game.

Around the house... Things are quiet. Kids are behaving and playing with each other.


One of my favorite things today.... Is the time I get to spend with my family. The weather as well. It reminded me of New Mexico weather. Sunny yet cool.

A few plans for the rest of the week: I don't plan ahead.

Here is picture for thought I am sharing..
This is a picture of Abby on her first day of Homeschool Group last year in first grade.

Trust

How do you trust? How do you trust AGAIN is what I should ask.? How do you stop fearing that history will repeat itself? How do you let go of everything you are trying to control and do, to protect yourself from the pain that was once unbearable? How? I know some would say "it just takes time", but how much time and what do you do in the mean time? It's a scary feeling as if your world is made of nothing but Jenga blocks and within a few wrong moves the whole thing can come crashing down. How do you close your eyes and just let yourself fall TRUSTING that they will catch you? :sigh: It's so hard. It is built in us to resist, to be cautious, to hesitate. It's built into our survival skills. Some may say "you just have to pray about it." But don't we as Christians struggle in the same way with trusting God? Not that He hurt us but maybe He has allowed pain to come into our lives? It's hard to trust Him because we are afraid of His answer and we don't want to hand over the control?  I use to think it was so simple. How do you trust? You just do. The way your child jumps off the bed trusting you will catch them. What I didn't realize is if you didn't catch your child and their little body slammed into the floor, they would not jump into your arms so easily the second time around.

And I find it sad that the pain we have endured can hinder our faith in our Heavenly Father. Sure sometimes it can strengthen it, but I think more than often  it weakens us. It puts fear in us which cripples our heart from trusting. 

Does any of this make sense? Sometimes I feel like one question just opens the flood gates to more questions.  So after all these thoughts and questions, the only solution I have come up with is, Communication.  For me I have to voice my fears. I need to look the person in the eyes and tell them "i'm afraid .....". Does that mean that the person won't hurt me again? Does it mean that it will prevent my Jenga world from falling? No, it doesn't but it does give me the opportunity to say what is on my heart instead of going mad within my own mind. Yes, for me the key is communication. No matter how stupid I look, no matter how insecure, jealous or crazy. Because I never want to look back and think "If only I'd said something...."

Scars of Mercy

Pandora is playing on my computer. Listening to Laura Story and some other Christian artist.  :sigh: I've stopped by my blog several times to sit and post something but nothing would come. I have so many thoughts that go through my mind. I think about so many of my friends and the things they're going through right now. I think about the things i'm learning in church and conversations I've shared with my Brother and my Husband about Sin. But when I sit to write, I can't focus. I was looking at some pictures on my little sister's FB wall and came across some photos that made my heart ache. You know, sometimes you go through things and you heal from it. You forgive, you press on but there is a scar. Eventually most scars heal, the redness and swelling may fade and it then becomes a silver line. Then you have scars that just get worse. I think of burned victims and how their scars just tighten, they always hurt. Maybe not as bad as when their injury first took place, but its a different pain. What if my scars never heal? What if the pain just stays with me and I only have moments of relief? Sometimes I just wish I had a magic wand. Turn back time and prevent hurt from happening. But what then? Would I miss out on all the wonderful blessings I've encountered because of the trial, the journey that I have been traveling?  The song that I was listening to is called "Blessings" by Laura Story. The chorus says this:

 Cause what if Your blessings come through raindrops

What if Your healing comes through tears
And what if a thousand sleepless nights
Are what it takes to know You’re near
What if my greatest disappointments
Or the aching of this life
Is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy
And what if trials of this life
The rain, the storms, the hardest nights
Are Your mercies in disguise

What if? What if all the heart ache ALL of it was God being merciful? Preventing something that was detrimental?  Something that was broken so bad it could not be repaired? Would I still trade in my scars for a do over? Would I turn back time and change the awful events that took place? No. Because though I may have scars on my heart, and though the pain comes and goes, my heart now beats stronger. It has grown to love more, it holds more compassion for others. But more than that, it is a reminder to me that God is holding it in His hands. Because without Him, the scars would not exist. The only thing existing would be the remnants of a shattered heart, constant pain and damage irreversible. So today I am praising God for the rain, the storms and the trials of this life because they just might be mercies in disguise.