Just Another Voice by Ruby Velez

This article was in one of my Christian Womanhood magazines and I wanted to post it. The strength that this family found and the peace that was given to them could only be given by our Heavenly Father. I wanted to share this with those of you that have faced hard times or WILL face hard times.

June 25, 2006, started out as just another Sunday morning. Little did I know that by 1:25 that afternoon, my life would be changed completely.
My family and I arrived at church. My parents had come to visit from Michigan, and we were planning on leaving right after the morning service. Our five year old Eliana was so excited to go to Sunday school, and our three year old Ricky was just as excited to see his little friends in his class.
As was our routine, I took our four month old baby, Damaris Maria, to her nursery. It was her second time in the middler nursery. I had just bought the baby a brand-new Children's Place dress, and I was so proud of it. It only cost $3.98! What a great deal! she looked so very pretty in pink.
After the morning service was over, I went to the nursery to pick up Damaris. As I was talking to two other mothers at the nursery desk- all of us waiting for our babies- we all watched as a security guard rushed into the nursery. Moments later, the emergency response team from our church also rushed into the nursery. I walked over to the window of the nursery to see if I could see Damaris. I looked at the swings and didn't see her. I looked in the cribs and didn't see her. A minute or two later, the EMTs arrived. Not even knowinf for sure if my baby was the one who was in trouble, I called my husband on his cell phone and told him to come to the nursery right away. I then looked over to the wall that separated the playroom from the changing station. I saw Lind Ault, the superintendent of the nursery, talking to one of the emergency personnel while going through a black diaper bag that was around her shoulder. I then saw the yellow bottle that I had prepared that morning for Damaris in the side of that diaper bag. I then knew that Damaris was the baby being worked on behind that little wall. As I stood there, I remember feeling an incredible physical presence of peace and calmness. I know now that the Lord Jesus was ever present.
Brother Clyde Wolfe, the chief of security at First Baptist Church, and Linda Ault came and told me that my little Damaris was in trouble. They had found her in her crib not breathing. Only a few short minutes had passed between the time a worker had placed her in the crib and when she was discovered not breathing.
I then saw the EMT rush out of the nursery with Damaris in his arm, giving her mouth to mouth resuscitation. I was given instructions to follow him to the waiting ambulance. I jumped into the front seat of the ambulance. I could not pray at the moment, nor could I cry. All that came from my mouth was Bible verses I had memorized. "Saturate your mind with Scripture" is what I had learned from Marlene Evans when I was a student at Hyles Anderson College. Little did I realize as a young student in her class that her time-released teaching would be a vital life tool for me. On purpose, I turned around in my seat to watch five grown men work intently on Damaris. I didn't want to miss a thing. As she lay there on that bed, her two little pigtails were bouncing up and down from the fervency of those dear medical people who were doing everything possible to start the beating of her little heart. I now know God's will was already done.
The ambulance rushed to ST. Margaret's Hospital, the hospital in which Damaris was born. We went into the emergency room where 10 to 15 medical people had already started to work on her. Tubes and wires were everywhere on her lifeless body. I held one of her little hands as the team worked on her. Another 10 to 15 people were waiting for their cue to start working on her. I sang "Jesus loves Me" and "Jesus loves the little children" to her. A tremendous calmness filled the room. Jesus, I know, was there. The doctors were giving her a strong medication to get her heart beating. Every member of the team was intently performing his job. One of the doctors was giving her a shot in her leg while flicking her foot and saying, "Come on baby, breathe. Come on baby breathe" Everyone wanted Damaris to start breathing. I was crying of course, but not out of control. I knew that Someone else was in control.
Our Sunday school teacher and his wife arrived at the hospital moments after we did. The doctor came to tell Rick and me that the situation did not look good. Fory-five minutes had already passed since our sweet baby had first received medical attention. By this time, Pastor and Mrs. Schaap had arrived at the hospital to be with us. Brother Schaap went to Damaris, laid his hand on her head, and began to pray. As he started his prayer with "Father, You are not on trial," a holy hush and an indescribable spirit of peace fell on the emergency room. He went on to say that we would love to keep Damaris, but we wanted His will, nour ours. My husband then took Damaris' hand, kissed it and kissed her forehead. As I stood by the wall watching, I quietly sang "Amazing Grace," and how amazing His grace was four us that day. Rick had me hold her hand again , and I talked into her ear as the nurse moved her head closer to my mouth. "Damaris, this is Mommy. If you are with Jesus right now, that is very fine with me.. If you're happy with Jesus, that makes me very happy. Ricky, Elianna, Daddy, and I are going to miss you very much though. I am so happy for you."
As I talked with Damaris, tearful eyed nurses watched intently-about to lose their composure. The doctor then came to Rick and me and told us that he and his team would have to stop working on her in the next few minutes. Almost 50 minutes han now passed since someone had started working on her to get her to breathe. The few minutes passed, and the team stopped working on our little angel. The doctor checked one more time for a pulse, looked at his wristwatch, then at the clock on the wall, and pronounced her dead. "Now is the will of God," and "Make Christ the center of your life, and the circumference will take care of itself" are what I remembered Dr. Wendell Eveans teaching Rick and me when we were college students. I accepted the death of our daughter as the will of God,and the Lord had carried us through the "circumference."
One day while sitting in Mrs. Marlene Evans' Christian Womanhood class as a single college student, she counted four girls sitting in a row. "One, two, three, four... one of you ladies will face cancer or your husband will divorce you," she stated. She counted four more ladies and said, "One of you will have a child die. What will you do then? Will you curse God and die? People, saturate your mind with Scripture and be a different woman." Little did I know what the Lord had planned for me then. How happy I am that I learned that the will of God will bring many hard, painful, and extremely grievous things in our life. But God is so very faithful and good, and through Hiw Word, one can find so much comfort. According to II Corinthians 1:3-5, He is the God of all comfort. "Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God. For as the sufferings of Christ abound in us, so our consolation also aboundeth by Christ."
I remember also when Mrs. Evans said that she was not rejoicing in the fact that she had cancer; she was rejoicing in the fact that there is a Heaven. I cannot humanly rejoice that my sweet daughter is no longer with us, but I am rejoicing that there is a Heaven, that God has allowed us to be in such a tremendous church with such an incredible church family, that the death of my daughter has brought people to Christ, that many new Christians and many marriages have been strengthened by her death, and I could go and on. I have had to write lists of why I can rejoice through such a huge loss. I have to on purpose keep the right perspective; otherwise, I would just be nervous, worried, and extremely depressed.
As of this writing, we still have not received the official coroner's report for our daughter. What my husband and I have accepted and believe is that her death is absolutely the will of God. This death does not take God by surprise. He had this planned on His calendar long ago. Therefore, He has planned to care for us in a very unique way, and we have sensed His care like never before. Of course, I have many days when I cry a lot and my heart is extremely heavy, but the truth of the aforementioned has brought so much comfort to me personally.
Rick and I have learned so much through the death of our daughter. These lessons may have only come as the result of something like this. How extremely thankful I am for the eternal lessons I learned earlier from Dr. and Mrs. Wendell Evans. Even sweet is the precious promise of Heaven and the fact that we are children of the King.