Life

Well hello old friend, it's been a long time since we have sat down together. I have so much to say I just don't know where to begin. Let me start with all the not so important things, well not important to others but important to myself :)
First, Ben is sleeping mostly through the night. I say mostly because I go in and feed him about midnight and then he wakes up between 5:30 and 6:30. But I will take it! I already feel so much more rested. To be 100% honest, I tend to miss him being in our room. He sleeps in his crib in Joey's room. Last night (or this morning at 5:30am) Ben woke up and I brought him back to my bed. I fed him and instead of taking him back to his bed, I just let him sleep on me for about an hour. I love snuggling him. To me it is one of the greatest joys of having a baby. I love when he just rests his head on my chest or puts his face into my neck. He is so soft and chubby, plus he smells so yummy. Anyhow, like the rest of my children he is getting bigger and growing quickly, so i'm trying to really enjoy and soak it all in.
Second, we moved again. It was hectic and stressful but for the better. We moved into a home with a yard. Its in a nice area with a nice community pool, park close by. The school is suppose to be a great school. That's the only part that I didn't care for about moving. Up rooting my kids from the school they are already in, but I am praying that they will make new friends here and will love it even more than the other school.
We are still unpacking, trying to get key pieces of furniture that would make our home more like a home. I like our new house, all the room are upstairs. Downstairs is nice and open, plus it's cheaper to live here.
Third, I have been losing weight!!!! I'm not working out tons, but I've been doing the intermittent fasting and at first I was very skeptical about it, but it has helped me to lose weight. Nursing Ben helps too but even with feeding him less, I am still consistently losing a pound a week. I wear a size 4 right now but even those are getting a little too big. When I got married I weighed 118 lbs and was a size 2. I would like to get back to that, but this time be more toned and fit. I need to start running again and start doing my circuit training again. One thing is good about having a chunky baby, he helps me have toned arms from carrying him. LOL
Fourth, church is going really well. I enjoy the singing, the preaching but we need to join a small group. I love discussing we we learned with others. Plus it would be nice to have some adult friends :) My kids love their classes, especially Abby. That is so important to me.
Fifth, My marriage. It's going really well. Like always we have our ups and downs, but things are mostly on the ups. I am thankful for this, not just for us but the sake of my children.
Six, This is probably my final thought but it is also the one that means the most to me at this time. There is a certain person that I use to be extremely close to, our relationship was destroyed. This person, no matter how hard I tried, just didn't want to have anything to do with me and completely shut me out of her life. This has been extremely painful for me. I have gone through ranges of emotion to try and cope with the rejection I felt from her. Our relationship seemed sooooo broken, wounds just too deep to heal. I have prayed about our relationship many times, asking God to help reconcile things between us.  It seemed impossible. But slowly we started to communicate with the help of others and on Easter Sunday, I received a text that said "I love you Esther". My heart swelled up into my throat. I wanted to break down and just cry but I was just getting into church. Several times tears slipped from my eyes. I know that our relationship may never be what it was, but to hear those words to know that I matter to her meant the world to me. You see, I love her so much. Even with our past hurts. I wish she knew just how much she means to me. I wanted to crawl through my phone and just hug her neck. To cry on her shoulder. I don't know what made her say those words to me, but it was like putting a balm on my aching heart. I am thankful for her words and treasure them. We will never have the relationship that we once did, but maybe we can have a new one? A better one.
Thanks old friend for listening. You are always here for me when I need you. <3 nbsp="">